Soulmates

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True love does not always mean together, just forever. I have been nervous many times in life, whether it be at a job interview or waiting for results to some test, but until today, I feel that I was not truly nervous in those moments. It was a feeling that I did not have a name for, so I called it nervousness. Today I learned the true meaning of the word nervous and it made me sick. For the past five years we had been talking on the internet. We had become great friends, him and I, knowing more about each other than two people should know about someone they had never met. We were the best of friends and things were perfect. He was that guy that I could tell all my secrets too and laugh with. He was the guy that I could be mean to when I was having a bad day and he didn’t stop being my friend because of it. He was truly becoming my best friend and in all honesty, I feel that he is my soulmate. Sadly with most close relationships, we fell in love. This was a problem for many reasons. First off, he was married. He loved his wife but she had not given him anything in the ways of sex for a very long time. I was with a man at the time who I felt I loved, but still he never seemed to compare to my friend. “I love you,” He would tell him. “You know that right?” “Yeah I know,” I would answer. Dying inside to scream it back. “You are a great friend who I love dearly.” I hated him. So many times I was told that he loved me as a friend and that he cared about me. It broke my heart inside to hear these words. Here I am, out of this world in love with this man and he tells me that he loves me so much as his friend. Nothing could honestly feel any worse than that. So as you could probably imagine, even within all of this and just being friends, there was a sexual connection between us. Even when we did not want to be sexual with one another, most of the time we could not help ourselves. He would say something kind of dirty and talk about how he was a pervy old man and I would laugh, though soon I would get swept into those Ataşehir escort bayan words and I was touching myself. I had never felt so sexually alive as I did with him. He made things happen to my body that no one else had ever caused and not once had he touched it. He could make my mind orgasm long before my body would follow with the lead. He was my every fantasy, my every desire, my every need. He was my everything. Time moved slowly over those five years and the relationship between us was constantly changing. We would be fine one minute and then fighting the next. Not those typical disagreements you would have with someone online, but very brutal arguments would occur between us. Most of the time these arguments would lead to us deleting each other or going months without talking, until one of us caved and apologized or fought to get the other person back into our life. During that time, our personal lives in our worlds had changed as well. As I moved on to a serious relationship, he sadly moved out of his marriage, though neither of us was happy. There was still something missing in both of our lives that could not be explained except by one simple answer that we both knew … we were in love with each other. “Come stay with me for a week this summer,” he asked me once again. I never seemed to have the right answer for him. I was in a relationship and had a life now, one I could not just give up to go spend with some man I had never really met before. “I can’t,” I would answer back, though deep down it was something that I wanted. “You know I can’t.” Was it the relationship I was in that was stopping me? No. In fact, that was the last thought in my mind when he asked me. The biggest concern that I had was life. I could not pick up my life and move to be with him and he could not pick up his life and move to be wit me. I felt that I would rather imagine what it was like to be with him, then to actually be with him and know what it is like, only to have to go home Escort Ümraniye and not get to keep that feeling. They say better to love and to have lost than to never have loved at all, but I felt that was just a load of crap. “Please.” He begged. “I need to meet you just once. Do this for me.” “I … I” what was I do to? ————————- I unclipped my seatbelt but did not move. I hated fighting people just to be the first one off the plane. Besides, the longer I waited, the less nervous I felt. I knew that I should get it over with but I was frightened to the core. The man I had loved for five years but never met was now waiting outside this plane for me. It was all becoming to real and I could not hide behind my computer screen anymore. I was not sure I was ready for this to be real. Finally, as the plane was almost cleared out, I got up enough nerve to stand up and push my way into the isle, grabbing the carry on bag that I had with me. I then made my way off the plane and headed for the gates waiting area. Panic had set in and I wanted to turn around and run, but there was no where to run, there was only one way out of here and that route led to him. There he is, my mind shouted loudly in my head, causing me to lose my balance for a brief moment. He was only twenty or so feet away from me and his eyes were locked dead on with my own. This was it, this was that moment of truth, there was no turning back. I walked slowly towards him, trying to catch my breath. I was not sure what was going to happen once I made it to him, but I knew that I was not going to be able to handle it very well. As I was standing in front of him, he leaned forward and quickly took me into his arms, hugging me tight against him. I was stiff for a moment, but quickly relaxed, bringing my arms up the best I could to hug him back. He was warm against me and I never wanted him to let me go, but sadly he had to. “I am glad you came,” he smiled big, a smile that I had grown to love so greatly Bostancı escort over the years. “You are amazingly beautiful in person.” I blushed, trying to hide my face but he used his hands to turn my eyes back to him. They were deep, pulling me in and taking away all control that I had. His eyes were lost within me and I could see just how much he truly loved me. The nerves were still there but they started to subside at this point. We made our way to baggage claim, found my bag and headed out to his car. We made small talk, mainly about how my flight was, nothing over the top or hard to produce at this moment in time. We loaded the car up with my things and climbed in. We were finally alone and the world was completely silent. For a good twenty minutes we said nothing to each other, we simply starred at the road in front of us. I tried not to look at him, unsure of what to say, but I could not help myself. I watched him from the corner of my eye. The way his fingers gripped the stealing wheel and slid over its smooth surface. I imagined though fingers gripping ahold of my body and running along my skin. Every hair on my body stood on end at the thought of him touching me, exploring me, loving me. “Turn up here,” I said to him, pointing to a sign that said a park of some sort. “Hurry.” He quickly turned the wheel and we were headed down this mysterious road. His eyes were darting back and forth between me and the road. “What are we doing?” He asked me curiously and a little concerned by the tone in his voice. “Turn here,” I said again, taking us into a deep set of trees that seemed to go on for miles. He turned the wheel again and we made our way down the road as far as we could before hitting a dead end. We were in a part of some sort, at least that is what the sign said. It was not a park with toys that I could see, but I had not gotten out to look around in the dark. There was no one else around, in fact, it almost felt like a ghost town, like we were the only ones who had been there in years. “What are we doing?” He asked me, raising an eyebrow in my direction. “Get out of the car,” I instructed him, unbuckling myself and climbing out of the passenger seat. He slowly got out of the car, a confused look on his face. I made my way to his side of the car, trying to figure out what it was that I was doing.

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