Meet Kryssi The Bimbo

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Hiya everyone. I’m Kryssi, but my real name is Krystal. Everyone calls me Kryssi. Before I even talk about how lucky I am to be with my boyfriend, can I, like, clear the air a bit first? Everyone always makes these totally false assumptions about me, so I want to set the record straight.I am not a hobbit, I am not the famous model that everyone thinks, I am not an interior designer, and I am a natural redhead, not naturally blonde. But I do have magical sex powers.I don’t know why, but most other girls compare me to a hobbit. This happens all the time, especially when they’re around their boyfriends. I guess they want to show him that they’re into the same things he is. Guys are such cute geeks. I’ll be talking for a minute and she’ll say, “You are such a Bimbo!”I know, right? First off, that Bimbo Baggins character is a guy and I’m obviously a girl! Secondly, while I am short, I’m not that short. I don’t have hairy feet and Bimbo isn’t a redhead. I just don’t know why all other girls see me and are reminded of that Bimbo Hobbit guy.But at least I know that I’m super-hot! Everybody thinks that I work for the top modeling agency in the nation. They look at me and say, “You are, like, oh my God, a Valley Girl.”I mean like wow! Everyone that sees me is just so blown away by how sexy I am that they automatically think that I work for the Valley Girl Modeling Agency. I’m honest with them, though. I thank them for the compliment but tell them that while I love posing for pictures, I’m not a model. Just about every guy I’ve been with has just loved the way I pose for pictures. They always hate what I’m wearing though and tell me that the pictures look so much better when the clothes aren’t hiding how photogenic I am!For some reason, and I don’t know why, a lot of guys just look at me and think that I’m an interior designer. Guys are way more into decorating than you might think. Hardly a day goes by that some guy doesn’t look at me and say something like, “Hey, Red, does the carpet match the drapes?”Well, duh! Of course Anadolu Yakası Escort they match, how else can you coordinate with the sofa?But by far, and I think this is like the biggest compliment ever, is the fact that people think I’m naturally blonde and I’ve dyed my hair. We all know that blondes are known to be super cool and so much fun, right? People just assume that I must be a blonde because I’m so much fun and so cool. Almost every time I meet somebody they’ll stare at me after I say something and ask, “Are you a natural blonde?” It’s so funny!But, anyhoo, I live with my boyfriend. We’ve been living together for a few weeks now. He is so sweet, so nice, and he just wants me to be happy. A few months after we started going out I mentioned that my lease was coming due and I wasn’t sure if I still wanted to live there. Matt said I could move in with him. Right after I moved in I told him that I hate, hate, hate doing laundry. I asked him if it was ok if I only wore a t-shirt or just went around naked so I didn’t have to do so much laundry.He just smiled at me and said, “If that makes you happy, I’d love it.”See? He’s so sweet!Also, right after we moved in together I lost my facial moisturizing lotion. I mean, heck, I’m twenty-four now and I need to keep my skin fresh and clean. I was going to moisturize but it was nowhere to be found.Matt, my boyfriend, was quick to stop what he was doing and help me.“Honey,” I called out to him. “I can’t find my facial moisturizer. Can you help me out by jizzing on my face so I can rub it in? Cosmo said it’s good for the skin.”He was busy, but he jumped right up and ran into the bathroom to help me out. Like I said, he’ll do anything to make me happy! After that, he told me that I shouldn’t ever worry about skin lotion again! He said he’d be more than happy to do that for me whenever I wanted. Well, good skin is, like, a priority for me, so it’s at least once every day.Even Matt’s friends are super-sweet. When they come over, Anadolu Yakası Escort Bayan they’re always concerned with my comfort. They see me wearing my shorts and crop top, or just a t-shirt and keep asking me if I’m cold. And they always fight each other to help me do the dishes; such gentlemen. It’s a good thing they help, too, because I’m such a klutz that I always get water all over my shirt.Now you might not believe me, but I think I have some magical sexual powers. I know, right? All I do is act like myself and guys and some girls become so horny around me. I don’t know why it happens, but that’s fine because sex is natural and fun, and I do love fun!Let me give you an example, okay?When Matt suggested that I move in with him, he told me that he had to tell me something that I might not like first. He told me that once a month he and his friends get together and play cards and they hire a model to serve the drinks and snacks.“Oh wow,” I said. “Like a Valley Girl Model?”“Not exactly,” was his reply. “More like lingerie models.”“OK,” I said. “And why wouldn’t I like that? Do you drink too much or something?”“Sometimes,” he admitted. “It’s just that most girlfriends freak out when they hear that a sexy woman dressed all sexy is playing hostess for our parties.”“Oh,” I said. “I don’t understand. Women are sexy and it’s natural and fun to dress that way. I mean why did the Goddess give us boobs if we can’t enjoy them? Promise me one thing.”“What?”“If you get too drunk, call me and I’ll come pick you up, okay?”Well, Matt’s turn to host the party was coming up and he let me sit on his lap in front of his computer and help him pick out the best model to serve them drinks and snacks. He had everything set up so we didn’t need to waste a bunch of time. He had already gotten a sign-in for the modeling agency, called the Pink Peach Modeling agency, and had already set up his account for payment. He’s just so thoughtful taking care of the boring stuff like that in Escort Anadolu Yakası advance.Her name was Destiny, so it was like fate or something because she was perfect. I looked over her pictures and she had the cutest little red skirt and tank top on. I had to tell Matt to make sure she didn’t wear those heels because it would be real hard to walk around in six-inch heels all night. But she was perfect! Her bio said that she’s comfortable with groups of men, the more the merrier and drinking is smoking is OK. She also added that she knows how a keg should be tapped and is skilled in stroking your tap handles! So she obviously knew how to tend bar and mix drinks.It was all set and I was so excited for Matt. But on the day of his party I came home from work—I’m the best waitress in the world and all kinds of guys come in to sit at my tables and chat—and Matt looked miserable. He was frantically looking for another waitress and looked really stressed out.“What’s wrong, honey?” I asked him.“The agency was closed down so the stripper won’t be coming.”“Oh baby, I’m so sorry, but the stripper is the one that cleans the tables, stripping all the nasty stuff off them before somebody else sits there and eats. You meant the waitress.”“Where can I find somebody sexy in just two hours?”“I thought you said I was sexy!” He looked at me and I pushed out my bottom lips and wiggled my shoulders back and forth. That always brings a smile to his face. He needed cheering up.“You are, baby. You’re the hottest girl I know. But that isn’t what I meant. I need to find somebody to serve before they get here or I’ll be the laughing stock of my friends forever. I only have a few minutes.”I thought it over until it hurt. I couldn’t have my boyfriend humiliated. He’d do anything for me. Then it hit me.I turned to him and massaged his thighs because that always makes him feel better. “Well, duh! I’m a waitress. I could do it but…”“But what?” He said.“Well, I don’t really own any sexy clothes. I only have my everyday stuff, except for my old Catholic school uniform. I mean it isn’t really sexy, but that other model on the website was wearing one so maybe that will do.”Matt just stared at me. “You have a Catholic schoolgirl skirt?”“Yeppers! Sure do! How about this? How about I go into the bedroom and put it on and you can tell me if it’s good enough for you and your friends?”

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