The First Time (The Monica ‘Verse)

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I lived in a rather conservative household, not to mention attended an abstinence-only school, and as such I was sixteen years old the first time I watched porn. I waited until just after midnight when I knew my parents would be asleep before I booted up my computer, plugged in headphones, and slipped in the DVD a friend of mine had given me. I still remember so much of it vividly. There were dozens of people gathered in a large white room, and after a few moments of mingling they were eventually separated into pairs, sometimes sets of three, and distributed to various sections of the room, Ümraniye Escort each containing beds. On the command of someone off-screen, a husky “Begin!”, the people began stripping off their clothes. I can still remember gaping at the screen and wondering what the heck was going on. One moment everyone was just standing around talking, and the next they were all naked and kissing and touching each other in ways no one had to tell me were inappropriate. That’s how I discovered what sex was. I discovered that a man’s penis was much larger and scarier Ümraniye Escort Bayan looking than I imagined, and that it stuck up when a man was ready for sex, and that it leaked whitish fluid—though I didn’t know why. And I discovered that a woman, too, could leak fluid from her vagina, and that there were holes down there where a penis could enter, and that there were certain places to touch that could make a woman moan. I learned that sex involved putting a man’s penis in your mouth and leaning back so that he could squirt that whitish liquid Escort Ümraniye all over your face. I learned that it was spreading your legs and allowing a man to burrow his face between them until you screamed. I learned that it was having your breasts tugged, bitten, licked, until the nipples hardened to pebbled points and red teeth marks and finger bruises peppered the delicate skin. I learned that sex was filthy. It was disgusting. It was sinful. It was something I shouldn’t have ever been watching. It was something I shouldn’t have ever found appealing. And yet… And yet I couldn’t deny the wetness between my thighs, or the strange heat that had begun to spread there since the first sight of a fully naked man and woman had appeared on screen. I had watched, avidly, as a man’s fingers dipped in between one woman’s legs, stroking her vagina with long swipes of his large fingers, and squirmed.

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