Cold Paradise

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When Hunter had left the house seemed to fall silent. Snow fell day after day, insulating our secret from the rest of the world with layers of ice. But inside our hardening igloo, I felt trapped.Agatha seemed to dog my steps, haunting me with laundry and vacuums and brooms. It seemed to me that wherever I was reading quietly, Agatha found reason to rearrange a bookshelf. Wherever I sat with a coffee, she took a thirst too. I read into every significant glance, every little cough, wondering if she suspected more than she was letting on.And I avoided Katherine.Whenever I looked at her, I saw shame. My shame. You shared your daughter, I told myself. You shared your secret. You let him use her.But if Kat felt anything like shame or regret about what had passed between the three of us that night, she didn’t let on. Two days after Hunter had gone, I found Kat in the laundry room, eyes free of the tears she had spilled for the boy in the drive. She’d hopped up onto the spinning washer and drew me in with two light kisses and a soft whisper.”Sneak into my room tonight,” she’d said. “I’ll wear these.”Kat danced a black pair of lingerie before my eyes.”We have to be more careful,” I breathed back, separating myself from her with an uneasy glance at the closed door. I told her about my encounter with Agatha, but Kat only brushed it off.”I don’t care anymore,” she said. “If she didn’t catch us then, she won’t.”Kat reached a hand into my pants to claw at my cock, pressed her lips into my neck. I pulled away again. Her touch at once enthralled and terrified me. And there was the hint of shame. You shared your daughter. You risked everything.But in Kat’s eyes, there was only a hint of hurt at my rejection. “When are we going to tell her?” Kat had said, one hand on her belly.In nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, her pregnancy was obvious güvenilir bahis to anyone who knew her.”Soon,” I said, allowing her another guilty, reassuring kiss before I left her there to fold her favorite pair of lace panties.The longer I put Katherine off, the more she tried to catch me alone, slipping into my morning showers and drawing me into her room to steal a kiss. Her eyes puzzled over me, her mouth twitched as though she wanted to say something but, instead, it worked over my mouth hungrily. Her hands clasped at my pants, my chest. She was ravenous but, hearing the footsteps of my wife everywhere, I would push her away. You shared your daughter. You shared your secret.The more Katherine pursued me, the more I began to get the impression that she did not feel the same way about what had transpired during Hunter’s visit. I saw her giving secret smiles to her smartphone, texting under the table at dinner. Twice, she called me into her room to find her masturbating, her phone glowing on her nightstand with threesome porn. She liked it. Once or twice, I could have sworn that I’d heard her soft footsteps cross the hall in the middle of the night, only to patter away again.Again and again, Kat would find me alone. She’d lock me in the bathroom. She’d follow me out to the barn. Again and again, I wanted to talk to her about what had happened, but I locked up. I pushed her away with fears of Agatha, who was never far behind. And Kat, too, had something hanging on her lips. A subject she had broached with me twice on the first day she’d been home and then not again.I wouldn’t give her five minutes for fear of Agatha and for fear of Kat. You shared your daughter.So, instead, I spent my time endlessly clearing snow off the drive, breaking the ice dams that built themselves on our gutters. As the week waned, Agatha’s dogging güvenilir bahis siteleri of my steps took on a purpose – Christmas planning. It would be the first with Kat home and we should do something special.The planning began. Relatives were called. Recipes were unpacked from long-forgotten cookbooks that hadn’t been opened since Kat’s mother died. We scoured the house, cleaned it as we’ve never cleaned it before. Agatha was on cloud nine throughout the proceedings, but for me, it was only the promise of more eyes, more threats. While I strung lights up around the house, I felt the black pit of fear weighing me down.As the week of suspicion came to an end, Kat and I were dispatched to find a Christmas tree.Katherine watched me for the whole drive into town. When we’d gotten into my truck, she’d stripped off the puffy green winter jacket that had become her standard outdoor wear to hide her growing belly. Beneath it, she wore a tight sweater dress that hugged her knees and thick black stockings, revealing the rise in her stomach. The seatbelt divided her breasts, making them appear larger than they actually were. With her eyes locked on me through the pale curtains of her tied-back hair, it was difficult to keep my eyes on the road.But in the car, we were safe. Or should have been.Katherine spent most of the ride with a hand on my thigh, fingers curled up as though waiting for mine to intertwine with them. An innocent gesture. Close enough to romantic to catch a wandering eye, but far enough to be brushed away.Still, I feared every stoplight, every chance to meet a neighbor, a friend of Kat’s from her school days.At a stoplight, Katherine leaned over for a kiss. She settled for a peck on my cheek and slumped sullenly back into her seat, withdrawing a hand.”What’s your problem?” she said suddenly, bitingly.”I…”I iddaa siteleri was at a loss for words. I couldn’t put into words what my problem was. I’d never been so afraid of discovery before, afraid to lose her. I looked at her, helplessly, and, for a moment, saw only my daughter. A reflection of her mother. Hurting.”She isn’t going to catch us out here,” Kat said, still fiery, still my daughter. “So that isn’t it.”The traffic light turned green. I stared at it, a baffling green moon.”It’s,” I started. You shared your daughter. Your daughter. “Is what we’re doing – is it wrong?”The words came out of my mouth unbidden. I had been thinking about that night, about Hunter. But I realized now that there was more.To my surprise, Katherine laughed.”Now?” she said. “You’re worried about that now?”She was her mother again, laughing at my jealousy. She was my daughter, laughing on her horse. She was my Katherine.A sharp honk brought me back to earth and I put the truck in gear, turning my gaze back to the road.”It is wrong,” Kat said quietly. “But we’ve made our choice, haven’t we?”I nodded, eyes still locked determinedly on the road. The feelings that had bloomed in my heart were faded, eased by the virtue of having spoken them. You shared your daughter, a little voice reminded me.”And I love you,” Kat said. I could feel her eyes still fixed on me. How had it come to the point where she had to comfort me?I reached over and found her hand, squeezing it for reassurance.”I love you too,” I said.~~~When we found the tree farm, the few miles between us and home had seemed to grow into leagues and leagues. The oppression of suspicion seemed to have been lifted from my bones. I allows myself to circle the car and take Katherine into my arms as she donned her long winter coat to hide her belly.The air was chilly and smelled faintly of snow and holly. Kat was warm and her breath misty. Our mouths met once, twice, three times. Her tongue passed between my lips and my hands wound down around her waist.”Wow,” she said when we broke apart. “Where did that come from?”

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