Valerie’s Career Undercover
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TRANSCRIPT OF SPEECH DELIVERED BY FBI BRANCH LEADER [REDACTED] ON 05/07/20[XX]. TITLE OF SPEECH: FAREWELL SPEECH FOR AGENT VALERIE [REDACTED].
DOCUMENT CLASSIFICATION: PUBLIC RELEASE WITH REDACTIONS. COPYRIGHT LICENSE CC-BY-SA 4.0.
VIDEO RECORDING: AVAILABLE ONLY TO PERSONNEL WITH TOP SECRET CLEARANCE. SUBJECT TO PUBLIC RELEASE BY FOIA REQUEST IF [REDACTED].
Hello, everyone. I can see we have quite a crowd today. It seems Valerie was one of our most popular agents and just about everyone wants to see her one last time. Yes, I know we were all shocked when news of her retirement was announced, but she has been with the agency for 25 years and was eligible for early retirement. Her retirement is especially well-deserved in light of her record of exemplary service. The undercover missions she has completed have gone down in FBI lore as some of the most daring and innovative ever accomplished. I was her immediate supervisor when she joined, and I’ve been her supervisor in one way or another ever since then, so they asked me to make this little speech and summarize her career. Of course, I will also discuss in detail the tradecraft of her missions, so this can serve as a learning experience for newer agents, and I’ve arranged for a camera to be put on a tripod so we can save these remarks for future training course. Just so you know, you will be recorded. Now, on with the speech I prepared. I’ll try to keep it quick. I know you’re all eager to eat from the dessert buffet they’ve put on the stage behind me. My thanks to the kitchen staff. The have really outdone themselves in terms of both quantity and quality. The frosting on the extra-large cake is exquisite, and it looks like there are over a dozen varieties of pie on this table!
I put together a little slideshow with some pictures I found in our files. This picture is of Valerie the day she joined. Yes, she looked so young then. She was just 20 years old. Of course, you can easily tell it’s her by that beautiful smile and bright red, curly hair. This next picture is Valerie at the office Christmas party her first year on the job. Boy, were people trying to get her under the mistletoe! She was such a cute little thing. Everybody was drawn to her petite frame and sparkling personality. But I bet you’ve noticed one thing that’s changed. Yes, Valerie’s hair is still the same shade of red, and yes, she’s just as happy-go-lucky as ever. But in her first two years at the agency, she was very flat chested, barely an A-cup. Not the buxom Valerie we all know and love! Well, there’s a story behind all that, and it has to do with her first undercover mission.
Valerie had been working as an analyst at the local office. She wasn’t initially a candidate for field work, but you know how undercover is always looking for fresh faces. Anyway, they recruited her to infiltrated a local motorcycle gang. The Devil’s Angels gang was notorious at the time. People suspected them of smuggling, illegal gambling, money laundering, you name it. But we could never pin anything on them because they were very careful about who they talked to. All their business was conducted out of the gang’s bar. If you were a man, you had to be a well-known member of the gang to gain entrance, and none of our field agents could pass as a grizzled biker. However, ladies seemed to have no problem coming and going. So, our idea was to set up Valerie as a customer at the bar and have her see if she could listen in on any discussions of illegal activity.
Now the thing about bikers is, they have a certain “type”. In a word, they like bimbos. So we knew that it would take a bit of work for Valerie to become the sort of woman the bikers would trust. There was a big biker convention coming up in just a few days when Valerie was recruited, so we didn’t have much time to brief her. I think she would have said no if we had explained all the details up front, but by the time she realized what she had signed up for it was too late.
We told Valerie that prepping for the mission would be like a day at the spa. Well, it was, in a sense. She just had to lay there while the disguise team went to work. They finished in less than an hour, and it was such a flurry of activity that she didn’t get a good look at herself until they were done. I came in just as they brought her a mirror, so I witnessed her reaction firsthand. I think Valerie almost cried when she saw what they had done to her hair. It was bleached platinum blonde and straightened to within an inch of its life.
But that was just the beginning. Artificial tanner had been applied to give her the signature bimbo look, and she was obliged to stand naked in the middle of the room while it dried. Yes, that was a bit embarrassing, and Valerie was extremely shy back in those early days, but I appreciated her willingness to put the mission before her modesty.
As you can see here–yes, we took pictures, it’s standard procedure to document the disguise for these kinds of operations–Valerie’s pubic region had also been shaved and waxed. We wouldn’t want istanbul Escort Bayan her natural red pubic hair giving away her real identity. It’s that kind of attention to detail that really makes me appreciate the team we have here.
Now, the changes I’ve described so far were temporary in nature. Fake tan wears off after a few weeks, and hair will eventually grow back. But we also made some inadvertently permanent changes to Valerie’s body. First, as you can see here, a lower back tattoo–I believe the street term is “tramp stamp”–was applied. We had meant to use temporary ink, but there was a mix-up in the supply department. I’d like to draw your attention to the design chosen. A simple geometric pattern–a heart between some curlicues–was selected, on the basis to avoid any possible resemblance to logos of rival gangs, while the location of the heart in the center, with its lower tip descending below the panty line and into the top of the intra-buttocks cleft, was believed to be alluring enough to pique the attention of the bikers and make them talk more freely. I think we chose well, and Valerie doesn’t seem to mind the tattoo. As you can see from this collage of bikini pictures at our annual beach party, she has displayed it with pride ever since.
Now, the last change is the most remarkable of all. As you can see from these profile pictures, Valerie’s breasts grew much larger over the course of just an hour. Referring to the scale on the picture, it was a growth of just over 4 inches, or for those not familiar with bra sizing, from an A-cup to a generous double-D. Now, how did we do it? Time was too short for implants, and those are not always natural-looking enough. Fortunately, we had acquired an experimental cream that the research division was working on. Topical application was observed to cause temporary growth of mammary glands, with a rapid onset and half-life of around 1 to 2 weeks. The enlarged breasts were found to be perkier than average, but indistinguishable from similarly sized and perky breasts of naturally endowed women. However, in Valerie’s case, the growth was not just rapid but also permanent. We’re not sure why it was in her case. Perhaps it was an interaction with the tanning spray or maybe it was just a fluke. Unfortunately for those in the audience wanting to give your wives or girlfriends a little “enhancement”, the active ingredient in the cream has been classified a national secret and is only available with department approval for essential intelligence operations, not recreational cosmetic use.
We completed Valerie’s disguise with jeans, a white crop top, gaudy jewelry and makeup that the field notes describe as, and this is a direct quote, “whorish”. You can study this photograph and judge for yourself. Valerie was dropped off at the biker bar just after 2000 hours.
Records indicate that shortly before 2200 hours, she was awarded first place in a wet t-shirt contest. Here are some pictures of the contest recovered from cellphones of bikers who were later arrested. You can clearly see why she won. It wasn’t just a matter of size. It terms of shape, aureola, and nipples, she outclassed all the other women. Also, witnesses report that she had a highly magnetic and attractive personality. I know, Valerie is usually so timid around the office here, but when she was dressed in slutty, wet clothes in front of dozens of raucous bikers, she really came out of her shell!
As the winner of the contest, Valerie was the only woman taken backstage to entertain the leadership of the biker gang while they talked business. A microphone hidden in one of her hoop earrings transmitted their conversation, and at 0027, the decision was made to send in a team to arrest them. This operation resulted in 17 successful prosecutions, including the leader of the gang, who is currently serving a lengthy sentence in federal prison. He has tried to appeal his conviction, arguing entrapment because Valerie gave him and several other gang leaders blowjobs. Photographs taken shortly after the arrest show a thick white liquid on Valerie’s face, chin and breasts, but so far judges have accepted her testimony that she spilled some yogurt she was eating at the time of the arrest, and they have denied his appeal.
After the conclusion of that operation, Valerie returned to work as an analyst in the financial crimes division. In the 5 years that followed, she rose in the ranks and garnered respect for her skills at analyzing company finances. Here she is accepting an award for outstanding work in computer-assisted forensic accounting at the internal conference a few years later. As you can see, her beautiful, curly red hair grew back just fine, and I think that dress fits her new chest well. It was shortly after this picture was taken that she was recruited for her second undercover operation.
It was actually Valerie’s own analysis that determined that a local bakery was actually a front for a notorious organized crime syndicate. They were using it to launder istanbul Escort millions of dollars per year. Wiretaps indicated that they were planning to make a huge transfer on New Year’s Eve before abandoning the front and going underground, where we would never be able to find them. It was already September when we intercepted those communications, so we knew we had to act fast.
Valerie had already established herself as an agent capable of rapid infiltration, and she was the one had originally detected suspicious financial activity in the front, so she practically insisted on being the one to go undercover and gather evidence. The plan was that she would apply for a job in the bakery and use her access to gain information that could lead to some arrests. As with her previous undercover mission, I’m not so sure she would have been so eager if she knew how things would turn out.
Once again, it was necessary to disguise Valerie’s appearance as much as possible, and once again it was necessary to sacrifice her hair. Intelligence indicated that the front business was in a bohemian neighborhood and most of the locals had an arty or punk-rock aesthetic, so Valerie’s hair was cut short in a pixie cut and dyed electric blue. She got several new piercings in her ears, as well as a nose ring and a tongue piercing.
Just like last time, her pubic hair was removed. Just before Valerie was sent into the field, senior leadership reviewed these photographs of her. They were concerned that the short hair made her too androgynous and potentially intimidating to the suspects. I know–a chest like that and they thought she wasn’t feminine enough. Sometimes, I think they complain just for the sake of it. But to address their concerns, we added another tattoo. Most of you have seen some of this tattoo at our annual beach party, but now you will get to see the whole thing. This picture was taken shortly after she got the tattoo. The tattoo is a floral design that emphasizes her feminine and unthreatening nature. The design and placement were also chosen to maximize her sex appeal. The tattoo depicts a flowering vine that appears to sprout from the top of her vagina, near her clitoris. The vine travels up her pubic mound and stops at her belly button. She was given low-cut jeans and crop tops to wear in the field, and we felt that the allure of the tattoo would mean she was certain to get a job a the bakery.
As expected, the bakery operators thought with their balls instead of their brains, and they couldn’t resist hiring the sexy woman who interviewed for a job. Over the months that followed, Valerie was tireless in her pursuit of evidence to build a case. Not only did she work 80-hour weeks at the bakery, she also dated two other employees–a man and a woman–in the hopes of gathering files they kept at their residences. That last detail was surprising for us to find out, especially since we didn’t know Valerie was into women. But it seemed either Valerie was very dedicated to her job, or we didn’t know everything about her. Slowly but surely, we were building a case.
We monitored radio chatter and in December intercepted some discussion between members of syndicate who had some suspicions that Valerie was a mole. Unfortunately, due to many analysts taking annual leave, the messages were not processed in a timely manner. That mean that that, although we were in frequent communication with Valerie, we did not warn her of the danger to her mission. On December 31, we lost all contact with Valerie.
Now, I knew Valerie was not in any real danger. The members of the syndicate have a strict code of honor, and none of them would even think of hurting a woman. But it never feels good to lose contact with one of your agents. I was worried they would get her to tell them everything we had. Then, they could delete anything incriminating and abscond scot-free. We were planning to send in a SWAT team at 0500 on January 1, just after the money was transferred between couriers, but at 2248 on December 31, I ordered them to move in early and rescue Valerie. I also activated the one-way emergency communication channel to her an ordered her to prevent the suspects from leaving the premises until the arrest team could arrive. I predicted that in less than half an hour, we would have the suspects under arrest and Valerie safe and sound.
Unfortunately, there was a series of mishaps that night. First, because the arrest team was sent out early, they hadn’t yet equipped their cars with sirens or lights, and they were forced to contend with heavy New Year’s Eve traffic. Arriving at their destination at 0015, they then realized that they had been given the wrong address, to a property across town. They left at 0047, and again were delayed by traffic, this time due to people leaving New Year’s Eve parties. They arrived at the correct address at 0301, nearly 4 hours later than expected. What they saw when they arrived shocked all of them.
Valerie was tied to a chair in the middle of the bakery, surrounded Escort istanbul by 4 men and 1 woman who worked for the syndicate. She was covered from head to toe in a thick layer of what we later learned to be a mixture of pie crust, pie filling and whipped cream. DNA tests taken from her vagina and other parts of her body found semen from all the men in multiple locations. The following narrative has been assembled from hundreds of hours of interviews and a painstaking examination of the physical evidence.
Valerie figured out on her own that the members of syndicate were suspicious of her, but thought she could maintain her cover by assuming a nonchalant attitude. On New Year’s Eve, she showed up at the bakery as normal, but was so closely watched that she was unable to send any outgoing messages to us. She received my message asking her to keep the suspects on the premises at the same moment that one of them went through her purse and found her FBI badge. They were outraged, and tied her to a chair while they figured out what to do.
The suspects wanted to interrogate Valerie to find out how much she knew, but, as I said, the members of syndicate have a strict rule against harming women. However, they have no rules against doing things that are harmless but unpleasant. First, they doused her with cold water, but she would not talk. Then, they mixed flour with the water. This made a thick paste, which is uncomfortable and very difficult to remove, especially from hair. In fact, after Valerie was rescued, she had no choice but to completely shave her head. After Valerie still refused to talk, they started throwing pies at her. The bakery was a front operation, so there were hundreds of unsold pies lying in the storeroom. When Valerie’s clothes became saturated with the contents of the pies, they cut off her clothes and threw pies at her naked body. When they finally ran out of pies, they had sex with her.
Now, when the SWAT team burst in and found Valerie tied up like that, we all suspected that the suspects had forced themselves on Valerie. During interrogation, the suspects claimed that Valerie had consented, that she had come on to them, that she had practically begged them to have sex with her. Of course they would say that, and we didn’t believe them. But we were surprised when Valerie confirmed their account.
What had happened was this: when they ran out of pies shortly after midnight, and it was clear Valerie wasn’t going to give up any information, they decided to leave her tied to the chair and abscond with the money. The day shift at the bakery, who were not aware of the illegal backroom operations, would find her in the morning, sticky but otherwise no worse for the wear. By the time a pursuit could be put together, the criminals would already be in Switzerland and out of our jurisdiction. Valerie overheard their whispered deliberations, and, desperate to keep them there until the SWAT team arrived, she stalled them the only way she could: she offered sex. Of course, these criminals were pretty rough customers, not the kind who are on the receiving end of much female attention, especially one as attractive as Valerie, so they couldn’t resist the chance to score with a beautiful woman, even one tied to a chair and covered in desserts. They took turns, ordered by seniority, and she was so good they decided to go for seconds. Finding her charms undiminished, they were in the middle of round three when the SWAT team apprehended them. Giving in to Valerie’s temptation had been their undoing.
During her debriefing, Valerie confessed she had an ulterior motive for her actions. The woman and one of the men present that night were the bakery employees she had dated, and in her interview she said that she knew they were both was going to prison, so she just wanted to, and I quote “lick that sweet pussy and fuck and suck that long, thick tool one last time.” That’s not the kind of language we usually hear from Valerie around the office! To this day, I am not sure if her lustiness was part of her getting into character for her undercover identity, or if the chance to assume a new identity unleashed something inside of her. Regardless, it was important to Valerie that, although the suspects would be going away for a long time on various racketeering convictions, we not also charge them with rape when nothing of the sort had occurred. I know it was hard for Valerie to tell us that she had initiated the sexual encounter, and it was hard for her to reiterate it under oath during a deposition, and it was hard for her husband to hear it when the court records were released to the media. But that kind of honesty and integrity is one of the reasons why Valerie is such a highly-valued agent.
Oh, yes, Valerie had a husband. And still has one. They were high school sweethearts and got married shortly after she joined the force, so I guess their silver anniversary is coming up. Congratulations to the couple! It’s too bad he couldn’t be here today. But as a classified talk, attendance is limited to FBI members only. I have met Valerie’s husband on several occasions, and he is a great guy. Very supportive of his wife, and completely understanding of the sacrifices she makes for her job. All things considered, he was a very good sport about this undercover mission, and also the next one–but I’m getting ahead of myself.
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