Now I Know I Am Gay

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It was a warm and sunny Saturday in July so I followed my usual routine. I showered and shaved and after surfing the porn sites, I had some lunch then put on my swimming trunks and sunglasses and headed to the apartment complex pool.

Every time I walk through the pool area I am conscious of the looks the girls give me. Or to be more precise: the non-looks. They take a quick glance at me then immediately look away. I am sure they are dismissing me as a possible love interest. It is very ego-deflating.

I’ve been told I’m a cute guy but I’m only 5’8″ 135 pounds and cursed with a small-framed body. To make matters worse, I’m painfully shy and would never dare initiate a conversation with a pretty girl.

The two relationships I had in the past were with girls I’d met at work. I like to say ‘to know me is to love me’ because women will only go out with me after they’ve gotten to know me, but away from work I never meet anyone. It’s very frustrating.

Anyway, I find an empty lounge chair in the area of the pool where I like to sit and watch. I sit back and survey the scene through my dark sunglasses.

Straight ahead and to my right I watch the swimmers, and look at the girls lying back in their chairs sunning themselves.

To my left are the workout area and a small building containing the ‘weight room’ ; there is a huge window that lets you look inside the room at the guys lifting weights; on nice days, like today, they set-up the weights outside about thirty-feet from the pool.

I’m not ashamed to say that I can find beauty in the human body whether it be female or male. Don’t get me wrong — I’ve never had sex with a guy, but I’ll admit sometimes unusual thoughts pass through my mind.

Anyway, out of the weight room come’s Dylan , my neighbor in the apartment building. You can almost hear all the women go silent as they stare at him.

Six-feet-two-inches of a perfect male specimen: solid muscles, a well-defined, sculpted chest and strong legs and thighs. I’ve heard women refer to him as ‘abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous.’

He stands on a mat and begins his weight-lifting routine. I stare at him out of the corner of my sunglasses; I don’t want to turn my head and make it obvious I’m looking at him.

He’s wearing tiny gym shorts and nothing else and I’m positive all the women watching him are getting wet between their legs.

Suddenly, a beautiful girl on the other side of the pool gets off her lounge chair and saunters toward the steps in the shallow end of the pool. Her ample breasts jiggle in the tight confinement of her bra-top. Her body is magnificent. Then I hear Dylan grunt and my eyes move back to him and watch him press a barbell loaded with weights over his head.

I forget about the girl as I study Dylan”s physique and marvel at his rippling muscles. I surreptitiously watch his entire routine through my dark glasses. I watch as the perspiration envelopes his entire body. He is glistening in the sunlight.

Another weightlifter, Alex, emerges from the building and says something to dyaln. I hear him tell Dylan that he’ll return the weights to the building when he’s finished. Dylan smiles and wipes dry the grips of the barbells. His smile is broad and it really compliments his handsome face.

Dylan picks up his towel and instead of wiping the perspiration from his body with it, he just carries it in hand as he starts his walk to the apartment building door. He walks as though he knows he’s on display and everyone’s watching.

I admire his confidence; it borders on arrogance, but hey, if you got it — flaunt it!

Suddenly my breath catches in my throat as he stops in front of me. He stares down at me. I am frozen in place, unable to move. Those big, beautiful blue eyes seem to penetrate my brain.

He walks to one side of my chair and leans over. His crotch is very close to my face. So close in fact, I can smell the manly aroma coming from his pubic area. His pungent odor invades my nostrils and goes directly to my brain — my penis has a mind of its own and instantly becomes erect inside my shorts.

My head swoons as my mind panics — what is he doing? All the girls around the pool are watching us. I can feel their envy. I’m both proud and horrified that this scantily clad Adonis has deemed me worthy of his attention.

He whispers in my ear: “I hope you enjoyed the show…wait until I get inside the building then come up to my apartment — I’m going to let you lick the sweat off my balls.”

His words make my hard-on throb. My head is swimming in lust, desire and confusion.

He walks away from me and my heart pounds faster with every step he takes towards the building.

What was that all about? I can’t do this – I’m not gay — I don’t have sex with men. This is crazy!

I stare at his broad back and muscular ass. When his hand takes hold of the door handle I begin to tremble and shake. I want to cry out and demand to know why he’s doing this to me.

The very second he walked through the Bostancı Grup Escort door and the door closed behind him; I almost tripped and fell as I jumped out of my chair. I caught my balance and hurriedly walked to the building totally aware that my erection was poking at the fabric of my shorts.

This was the first time in my life I was grateful for having a small dick — I was sure no one would even notice it was hard.

I didn’t want to see anyone else so I ran up the stairs instead of using the elevator. I walked by my apartment door to get to his, and the door was slightly ajar.

Should I knock on the door, or just go inside? I knocked.

“Get in here and close the door,” I heard him say.

Once securely inside, I turned and looked at him. We both heard the gasp that escaped from my lips. He was standing in the middle of the room wearing only a skimpy jockstrap. The small pouch held an enormous bulge. My mouth unconsciously opened wide as I stared at his ‘package.’

“Take off your trunks,” he said.

I tried to determine his mood from the tone of his voice.

Was he angry at me for looking at him earlier? Was this a set-up? Was he going to beat the shit out of me?

The very fact that I was standing before him now after what he said to me, the only conclusion he could draw was that I was queer. I know I would have thought that.

He didn’t appear to be mad. A slight smile even formed on his lips. I decided it was safe to do what he said. I pushed my shorts down my hips and legs and stepped out of them. I stood naked before a guy for the first time in my life.

I heard him chuckle and say, “Cute little cock …get over here!”

The ‘little cock ‘ remark didn’t hurt as much coming from him than when I’d heard girls say it.

I stood close to him but not close enough for his liking. He pulled me against him. He lifted his arm and pulled my head into his armpit. I tried to pull away but he held my face firmly against him.

“Relax,” he said. “Breathe through your nose….”

He pressed my nose firmly to his sweat-matted underarm hair. I panicked — completely baffled why he would do this to me. I had no idea what his possible motive could be.

I held my breath as long as I could but I needed oxygen. I breathed deeply through my nose. My nostrils filled with his aroma sending my brain to dizzying heights. My legs wobbled but he held me in place; I felt the blood rush to my cockhead; my prick had never been so hard.

My body relaxed; my mind drifted-off into space. His manly scent had a soothing effect on me. I inhaled through my nose and felt nothing but a calm euphoria. I began taking longer breaths, filling my lungs and head with his intoxicating aroma.

“Get on your knees!” I heard him say through my reverie. He positioned me where we stood face-to-face. His eyes fixed on mine. His incredible blue eyes bore through my skull.

I may be young and somewhat naïve, but I knew what it meant when a man told another man to ‘get on your knees.’ I felt my hard-on throb and pulsate.

I can’t do this, I told myself. This isn’t who I am. No matter how excited I am, how could I ever look myself in the mirror again without feeling shame and guilt? Getting on my knees before him would destroy my self-image and confidence.

I’m a man, dammit! Act like one!

Suddenly his strong hand took hold of my hard prick. He squeezed then slowly stroked it. His big hand easily fit around my narrow girth. My hips began to jerk and buck as the cum in my balls was set to erupt. I couldn’t stop it — I didn’t want to stop it.

The fingers of his other hand formed an ‘O’ just above my balls. They closed tightly around my scrotum until I felt him force my balls lower in their sac. It wasn’t painful, but it caused me to utter a loud groan of frustration. Crisis averted — orgasm delayed.

My prick remained hard, dribbling pre-cum from the slit. I began to tremble with desire and lust. My mind was in a total void. My instincts took over. I slid to my knees. His hands pressed my face to the bulge in his jockstrap. Without him saying a word I breathe deeply, inhaling his musky and erotic manly aroma.

Something snapped inside my head. I simultaneously kiss his jock-covered crotch while inhaling as much of his smell as I can. His cock began a slow ascent to full erection.

I couldn’t believe how exhilarating it was to know my actions were causing his cock to swell. The feel of his cock twitching and expanding on my lips and hands was indescribable; I’d never experienced anything like that. It felt so ALIVE! So warm and firm to the touch — so hard yet so soft to my kisses.

My fingers grasped the waistband of his jock and urgently yanked them downward. I audibly gasped when his cock sprang into view; beautifully shaped; long and slender and not a blemish to be seen. I immediately pressed my lips to his flesh.

When I’d covered his cock with kisses, I worked my way down to his large, hairless Bostancı Manken Escort scrotum. I kissed the soft flesh hanging between his legs. He didn’t have to hold my head against him anymore; I willingly pressed my face to his private parts.

I kissed his balls because I wanted to; I sucked on his balls because I had an overwhelming desire to feel their softness in my mouth.

Finally, I licked the sweat off his balls. The slightly salty flavor tasted delicious on my tongue and made my head dizzy. It struck me that less than a half-hour earlier the thought of licking another man’s balls would have disgusted me.

“Wet your lips and take my cock in your mouth!” I heard him say above me.

There was no doubt I would obey him. I had never been this excited in my entire life.

When I had taken his cockhead in my mouth and my tongue came in contact with his hot flesh I saw stars dancing before my eyes. I licked the pre-cum from his slit and tasted a man’s juice for the first time. It was love at first taste.

He slowly told me what he wanted from my lips, tongue and hands. I followed his every command.

Suddenly my only thought was to give him as much pleasure as I could. I discovered the more excited he became — the more my own cock throbbed and pulsed. I felt the semen boiling in my balls once again.

When he roughly pumped his cock in-and-out of my mouth I knew he was getting close. My lips clung tightly around his turgid flesh while my tongue stroked and lathered his wonderful hardness.

Suddenly he held my head in place as he jerked and bucked and unloaded his balls inside my mouth. When the first stream of creamy juice hit the back of my throat I gagged but I quickly recovered to swallow as much as I could.

“Oh yeah — eat it all, ass – eat it like the spooge-loving dicksucker you are!” His grunts of pleasure filled the air.

When he called me a ‘spooge-loving cocksucker’ my balls exploded. The cock in my mouth muffled my cries of ecstasy. My prick spewed cum in mid-air; the intensity of my orgasm shocked me. I had never-ever felt anything like that in my whole life.

When we sufficiently recovered from our orgasms; and as he slowly slid his slick, cum-coated flaccid prick from between my lips he looked down at me.

He smiled and said, “I knew what you were the moment I met you.”

Embarrassment — shame — humiliation…I don’t have the words to describe how I felt at that moment. For a split second I wondered who that person was who had just sucked a man’s cock and swallowed his cum and actually LOVED it — it certainly wasn’t me.

He had me clean his cock with my tongue. When I was done my tongue was thickly coated with sperm and semen. A strange odor wafted upward from my mouth. It shook me from my trance.

“I…ah…I better get going,” I said in a small voice.

“I’m not finished with you yet — you’ll leave when I tell you….” he said. His voice was surprisingly soft, but firm.

Later that night, tucked safely in my own bed, my eyes wired open staring into the darkness, a kaleidoscope of images played and re-played in my head. I lay there horrified by the slow-motion pictures that ran through my head.

Brief snapshots of the afternoon and evening flashed before my eyes.

In the shower with him — lathering and washing every inch of his fantastic body – thrilled by the feel of his firm flesh on my hands and fingers.

On his huge bed, kneeling between his wide-splayed legs — hearing his commands – instructing me how to suck and lick his cock — his balls — and even his asshole; the acrid taste of the walls of his asshole still on my tongue.

And then came the fucking.

When he said: “I love popping a little ass’ cherry.” I didn’t know who he was referring to.

He spent a long time lubricating and stretching my hole. He mumbled how tight my ‘ass’ was; how much he was going to love fucking my ‘tight cunt.’

By the time he had me bend over, my body was shaking with lust and desire. My balls were ready to erupt. So it came as no surprise to me when his very first hard thrust into my asshole caused me to shudder and shake and spew my cum all over the sheets.

“Good boy,” he said as I was cumming. “I knew you were a slut — I knew you’d love a hard cock in your ass!”

He pinched and pulled on my breasts and nipples adding another sweet pain beside the one I felt in my ass.’

For the first time in my life my brain was empty of all thoughts that had nothing to do with the here and now — my mind was a seething cauldron of pure, unadulterated sex. Nothing else mattered.

He fucked me twice more and I came both times — each orgasm better than the last. I was exhausted and dizzy. I look back on that day as the most important day of my life.

“You can go now…” he said, almost pushing me off the bed. “…I’m done with you….”

Oh God, I thought. Did that mean he was done with me for today, or forever?

“Your Bostancı Masöz Escort new bathing suit is on the chair,” he said, pointing to a chair in the corner of the room. “Tomorrow, be at the pool at one-o’clock…you’ll wear that and your flip-flops and nothing else — you will position a chair facing me and sit down and watch me working-out…and don’t wear your sunglasses.”

When I touched my ‘bathing suit’ I froze — I knew immediately what it was.

“B-But this isn’t a bathing suit — I can’t wear this to the pool — not in front of everyone,” I protested.

“If you want to be with me you will do whatever I tell you to do — no questions — no complaints,” he said matter-of-factly. “I can always find another bitch to fuck…either do what I say or we’re through — I’ll never talk to you again — now get out!”

The next day, as I stood before the mirror wearing my new ‘bathing suit,’ I conceded I was wrong when I thought yesterday had been the most important day of my life.

Clearly, today was the biggest day of my life. To be more precise, this exact moment was the most important of my life. The decision I was forced to make right now, was the single biggest decision of my life.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. What I saw was a cute-looking guy wearing navy blue speedo.

You know, I thought, none of the guys around the pool will even know what they are. If you don’t look too closely they can easily pass as swimming trunks.

Yeah, I countered, but all of the women will know exactly what they are…and exactly WHAT and WHO you are!

What difference does it make? I thought. I don’t have a snowballs-chance in hell of scoring with any of them anyway!

My nerves tightened and twisted with every movement of the clock towards 1pm – a fierce debate raged in my mind.

No sane or logical guy with the slightest thread of self-respect would go through with this.

You had your fun, I told myself. You ‘experimented’ — you tried something new — and even though you had the greatest sexual adventure of your life, it was now time to wake-up and act like a man.

At 12:55 I took one last glance at the reflection in the mirror, and saw my self in a speedo for the first time.

When I reached for the doorknob I noticed my hand wasn’t trembling or shaking anymore. I strode to the pool neither frowning nor smiling, but with a purpose.

As I walked down the hallway I suddenly became aware of another problem. I really liked the feel of the speedo material pressing against my penis and asscheeks. With each step I took my prick grew stiffer inside the speedo until I had a full erection.

Before going outside, I stopped and adjusted my hard prick so that it lay flat against my lower belly. The outline of my erection could clearly be seen pressing against the speedo, but I figured nobody would see my small dick.

I walked outside and immediately searched for Dylan. He and Alex were lifting weights on the other side of the pool.

I walked through the pool area staring straight ahead with my head held high.

“Oh my gosh — look at that!” I heard the pretty blonde I had privately lusted-over say to her friend as I walked-by.

I heard gasps of shock, and chuckles of derision. My face turned red as a wave of crushing humiliation and total embarrassment washed over me. Tears filled my eyes, but I was determined not to let them defeat me. I had come this far and there was no turning back.

When I arrived at the ‘weight’ area, I picked-up a lounge chair and faced it towards Dylan and sat down. It was a relief to sit there and focus on the beautiful hunk-of-man before me.

The silence in the air was broken by a girl telling her friend: “See — I told you he had a small dick!”

After a few seconds life around the pool returned to normal.

When I looked at Dylan he had an arrogant smirk on his face. He turned to Alex and said just loud enough for me to hear: “Obedient bitch — isn’t she?”

Alex laughed and replied, “Yes — and pretty, too.” My face turned beet red.

It was then I noticed that Dylan was already dripping with sweat. I snuck a quick glance at Alex and saw that his body was also covered in perspiration. They had obviously begun their workout much earlier.

Suddenly Dylan asked me in a taunting and teasing voice, “What do you want?”

Even though this was a pre-arranged question, and I’d practiced my response over and over, I began to tremble at the thought of actually saying it out loud. There were people within listening distance around me; other people would witness and hear my humiliating answer. I didn’t want to make Dylan mad so my hesitation was brief.

“Please, I want to lick the sweat off your balls,” I heard myself say.

“What? I couldn’t hear you!” Dylan said loudly. The people sitting near me whipped their heads around and stared at me.

With tears in my eyes and a bright crimson face I said it once again: “Please — I want to lick the sweat off your balls — please let me lick your balls.”

I heard gasps of surprise and tongue-clicking from the men and women around us.

“What about Alex?” I heard Dylan ask me.

This wasn’t in the script. What was I supposed to say now? PLEASE GOD I WANT THIS SHAME AND HUMILIATION TO END.

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