Love, cherish, obey

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 Ada Verraine wrung her hands and fiddled with her hair, then scolded herself silently for being so unstrung. Her husband’s door, large carved cedar decorated with floral and oceanic patterns, was closed as always, yet today it seemed more forbidding than ever before. For all its solidity, she could almost see through the wood and spy James sitting behind his desk, absorbed in his work.Ignoring her, as he had done for a whole year – ever since their wedding.Charles Verraine was a handsome man, only seven years older than her, a rich businessman dealing in cloth and spices with the West Indies. His first betrothed died of a fever before their wedding day, a tragedy that was certainly responsible for his twenty years of abstinence, an exaggerated focus on his work, and the harsh sadness Ada had seen in his eyes from time to time. Even the marital bond between himself, 38-year-old merchant Charles Verraine, and her, the 31-year-old daughter of a jeweler Ada Rouvroy, that had its first anniversary today was deeply rooted in Sophie’s unfortunate fate.Ada was sick to death of it. The lifelessness and indifference of it were driving her insane in increments. The day she had vowed to love, cherish and obey, she had not expected blushing love and romance. She was not a dreamer, had seen too much and lived through too much and was entirely too old for that sort of naiveté. But she had expected some kind of closeness. Contact, if not intimacy. She had assumed Charles had married her to produce an heir, yet he had maintained his own bedroom at the northwest end of the mansion while accommodating her in the southeast quarters. As far away from him as possible.365 lonely days – and nights – were more than plenty. With the sum total of every single lonely moment in mind, she raised a fist and tapped her knuckles against the door.Charles’ voice rang out, so Ada entered his office and closed the door behind herself again. It was a spacious, light-flooded room with two large windows, walls full of books, and the bulky work desk that almost vanished underneath all the paper, books and ledgers piled atop it in neat stacks.“Good afternoon, Charles,” Ada addressed her husband when he did not look up. “How do you do?”“I am busy, Ada,” he said, not unkindly but sternly. “The reason for your visit?”Ada drew a deep breath. “Divorce,” she said and straightened her spine against the dark gaze that immediately landed on her.Charles considered her for a long moment, then put down his fountain pen and slid the ledger he had been working on to the side. The weight of his full attention was tangible on her shoulders. “For what reason?” he asked evenly.“Disinterest. Negligence. Parasitism on my part,” she replied truthfully. “I have lived on your expenses for a whole year now, and you have not demanded of me anything in return. It makes me feel useless and barely tolerated.” I might as well have stayed at my father’s house, she didn’t add. “I cannot abide this status quo.”“And the charges of disinterest and negligence you lay at my feet, I presume?” Charles demanded to know. “You feel I am not invested in you?”She suppressed a disbelieving snort, barely. “Indeed, I do. It could hardly be more obvious. We live in the same house yet hardly even meet once Güngören escort a week. You are busy,” Ada grimaced at the odious word, “day and night. We never talk, never… spend time together. We are strangers, Charles. I do not want to live this life any longer. It is empty for all its comfort.” Void of heart. Of life, heat or passion. It was a life not worth getting up for in the morning.He seemed to absorb her reply for a minute, then nodded acquiescence but did not comment. “Please, sit.” He gestured for her to take the seat opposite him, in an elegantly carved upholstered chair with a low backrest made of gleaming wood. “This conversation may become a little long, and intense. Sit!”She did, wondering what a ‘long and intense’ conversation might entail. Did he assume their divorce negotiations might be intense? “Charles, let me be clear. There is no need for this matter to turn to hot-headedness and scandal. I do not want a single liard from you. I am glad to return to my parents’ estate with nothing more than that with which I arrived here-““You will not leave,” Charles interrupted. “We will not dissolve this marriage. I refuse.”The way he said it, so full of certainty and calm, caused a burst of anger in Ada’s breast. “Yes, I will, and Yes, we will,” she said, biting off the words. “Unless we can change our ways with one another – and pardon my observation, but you do not seem particularly interested or inclined to do so – I will absolutely depart from here. I have checked our marital contracts. They say that from this day forward – the anniversary of our wedding – an amiable dissolution may take place with no loss of reputation.”“I am aware of that clause, “ Charles nodded. “That does not change the fact that we will not make use of it at this point.”“At which point, then, Charles?” Ada heard her voice rise. Short temper in the face of adversary had always been one of her problems. Just one of the flaws her parents had always bemoaned. “How much longer do you wish for me to wait and slowly wither until you think we should part ways?”Charles opened a hand. It was a point in his favor that he did not adopt a condescending voice at her display of annoyance. “To be clear, Ada. I am not holding you captive here. You can leave whenever you like if you so wish. As it is stated in our contracts – no loss of reputation or income. You can even retain my last name if it suits you.”Ada was speechless with the swirl of emotions. Anger, heartache, disappointment, even hatred mixed together in her soul. Being dropped hit her harder than she had imagined it would, seeing that this had been her desire. Maybe she was still naïve, maybe she had hoped he would not let her go without at least a little fight.“But,” Charles continued, clearly aware yet not the least cowed by his wife’s inner turmoil, “you will not leave, because your reasons to do so are not valid. I have, at no point, been anything but… deeply invested in you, my dear wife.”“What-? Charles, I-“ Ada frowned, confused. Her Charles was many things, but a liar he was not.“I confess I have avoided you for your own safety,” Charles said, getting up from his chair and buttoning his jacket as he came around the desk and towards her. “I İnnovia escort bayan needed you to be free to run if you chose to do so. Now, as per our contracts, you can leave without repercussions. But you will not.”For my own safety?  “Charles, you are speaking in riddles,” Ada protested and got up herself.“Sit. Down!”Her husband’s order, the loud vibration of his deep voice, slid down her spine like an ice cold electric shock and made her knees buckle. Slowly, she sank back down onto her chair. “Charles…”Charles now stood behind her, his hands on the backrest of the chair, and leaned down just a little.“I have watched you from afar every day since our wedding,” he told her. “Occasionally, I even watched you in the weeks before that. You were on my mind every minute of every hour, awake and asleep. I have had every inclination and every interest to ‘change my ways’ with you for so long, Ada.”Sweat prickled out of her every pore at that declaration.“I wanted to own you, Ada. From the second I first laid eyes on you in Calais, I wanted to have you for my own. The fervor of this desire scared even myself for a while.”Ada licked her lips. Yes, she had hoped for passion, secretly, but she had not expected it, let alone to this overwhelming degree. She had not seen even a spark of it in Charles – he certainly held one for his business, but not for her – yet here he was. Burning.His breath and his voice both stroked her, each in different ways. “But simply sticking you in a cage and using you up was not what I wanted. I wanted you to come to me, or stay with me, willingly. To allow me to have you on my terms.”“Using… Using me up?” Ada hushed and swallowed. His words and his nearness made her mouth water. Her heart seemed to pulse both in her chest and at the apex of her thighs which she pressed together surreptitiously.“I am a demanding man, Ada. Very demanding,” he replied and transferred his right hand from the backrest of the chair to her right shoulder. The warmth of his skin seeped through the muslin of her neckerchief. “To start with, we will make an additional contract to ensure that we are clear about the nature of this exchange.”“Contract,” Ada repeated dumbly, giving in to the irresistible urge to lay her own hand on top of his. At the touch, his grip on her shoulder tightened to the point of pain. She only leaned into it and stroked his skin with the pads of her fingers, feeling the bones and muscles of his strong hand, the fine hairs on his skin there.“You will sign yourself over to me. I want you to know what I demand of you, and what you are giving up to me.”“I do not follow.” Her voice was thick. Single spots of fear appeared on the lust glowing within her, like blades of grass sticking out through a blanket of snow.“Firstly, my dear wife, we need to adjust the imbalance you have caused in our marriage.”Ada blinked out of a haze and half-turned and craned her neck to look her husband in the eye. “Charles, I have not spent any of your money or squandered any.““I am not talking about money, love,” he soothed, easily turning her back around with the press of his palm and fingers. He leaned down again to speak into her ear. “I am talking about the orgasms you have stolen Escort Kağıthane from me.”“I-“ She did not know what to say to that.“How many orgasms have you given to yourself without your husband’s consent, Ada? Since we have been married, how many times have you touched what was mine and taken for yourself what was only mine to give?” When she did not answer, he laid his other hand on her other shoulder, not-so-gently pressing down on her. “A rough estimate? You know I am a businessman, Ada. Numbers are important.”“I have… I mean-“ She licked her lips. “Maybe… Maybe one or two each week? But I was not aware…”Charles tisked and began massaging the muscles of her shoulders, digging into the column of her neck with his thumbs. “Come, now, Ada. You are a grown woman, with mature needs. I know for a fact that you, despite all your demure, civilized manners and the modest clothes you profess you prefer, are a creature of fierce passion and carnality.”Ada pressed her lips together and held the noises of dismay inside. The demure manners and the ability to wear those modest clothes with conviction had been hard-won. She had spent years – decades – of her life creating a persona that was compatible with society and acceptable to her parents, in particular, a sufficient peace offering to them for her indiscretions at a young age. It had taken an eternity to own and comfortably live within this persona. It had taken much energy to maintain it.And just like that, her husband had seen through it, had apparently spied her buried underneath there.Was it just her wishful thinking, or did he like what he was seeing?“Well.” Ada tried to think about the issue mathematically, pragmatically, ignore the throbbing between her thighs as well as the mounting need to pull his hand down and put it right there, onto the pain point. “Well. A month is made of four weeks. During one of these it… is… not practical.”“You feel no desire during your menorrhea?”Charles’ blatant question caught her off guard. “Well, I mean, yes. But touches of any kind are not… pleasant during those days. Not to mention the hygienic aspect of it.”“Not pleasant?” His massage had softened a little.“I am too sensitive, and moreover, I—“ She hesitated, then decided to be honest no matter how shameful the subject. “I dislike my own smell. The odor changes and becomes stronger. It is not… not pleasant.”“Hypersensitive and odiferous,” Charles mused as if to himself. “I am looking forward to that.”Ada frowned and let go of him, folded her hands in her lap. “Well, that makes three weeks. Within these three weeks, I… maybe I…”“Every night,” Charles whispered. His breath tickled the shell of her ear. “Sometimes twice. Sometimes in the morning, too, and during your bath. Am I wrong?”How did he know that? Her pulse spiked in her veins. She felt the flush of embarrassment creep up the back of her neck and a bead of sweat formed between her corseted breasts. “I- Charles, really-““You are a lecherous woman,” her husband mumbled and slid the tip of his right index finger up the side of her neck, up to the soft lobe of her ear, following the goosebumps. “Wanton. Dissolute. Undisciplined, most of all. One of these will change from now on.”“How?” Ada barely dared ask.“Two orgasms each day, three weeks every month, makes forty-two, times twelve makes five hundred and four. This past year, you have stolen five hundred orgasms from me. Five hundred cries of ecstasy. Five hundred moments in which I would have gazed upon my wife’s face and seen the blush and the tears of climax on her cheeks.”

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