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Alex took his shirt off the floor and put it back on. He looked over at Professor Brooks who was zipping up his pants.
“We should stop running into each other like this,” Alex said.
Christopher laughed. “We really should.”
This was the third time that Alex found himself in Brooks’s office since their first sexual encounter. It was also only three days since that initial time. Professor Brooks walked over to Alex from behind his desk.
“You know you have an amazing ass, right?” he asked.
“Is that why you’ve invited me to your office everyday since Monday?” Alex said.
“Yes and also because of this.” Professor Brooks stepped forward and gave Alex a light peck on the lips. “Your mouth is amazing also.”
“What can I say? Overall I’m just an amazing person.”
Brooks shook his head. “You confuse me Alex. One moment you’re this modest person and then the next, you’re overly confident.”
“I’m a living example of a paradox,” Alex said while taking up his bag.
“Indeed. Same time tomorrow?”
“Maybe. I’ll let you know.”
Brooks smiled. “Bye Alex.”
Alex was definitely back the next day.
When Alex got back to the dorm, he found Logan on his bed with his laptop. Oliver, his roommate wasn’t there. Alex sat on Logan’s bed.
“Hey, whatcha up to?” Alex asked.
“Just downloading some notes,” Logan answered. “What have you been doing? Didn’t your last class finish about an hour ago?”
Alex thought back to being with Professor Brooks. “Just been around; still familiarising myself with the campus.”
“Saw anything you liked?” Logan wiggled his eyebrows.
Alex rolled his eyes. “No I did not.”
Logan sighed heavily. “You’re a lost cause.”
“It’s only been three weeks since school began.”
“Last time I checked you haven’t found anyone yet either.”
Logan shrugged. “Hmmm.”
“Maybe you should ask Oliver out; he seems interested in you.”
Logan shook his head. “No, he’s that friendly with everyone.”
“If you say so.” Alex fell backwards onto the bed. “At least you don’t have to worry about wondering if he’s gay or not.”
“Ah, and here I was believing that you weren’t thinking about Brayden anymore.”
“Hmmm. If YoU sAy So.”
“I talked to Nick and Liam this morning,” Alex said changing the topic.
“I video chatted with them yesterday. They seem to settling into their schools well.” Logan shifted his body so that he would be lying next to Alex.
“Imagine not too long ago the four of us were in high school,” Alex said. “Now, Nick is at MIT with William and Liam is at UCLA with Chad and-“
“We’re here at UO, single,” Logan finished.
Alex laughed. “I was going to say ‘and we’re here at Oregon’ but that works also.”
“Have you spoken to Ethan?”
“Yeah, I texted him a couple days ago. He’s doing great. He likes NYU so far”
“Maybe you two will find your way back to each other after college. You guys were only together for a few months but I liked you guys together.”
After some silence, Logan rolled over to his side and propped himself on his right arm. “Alex,” he said “I want to talk to you about something.”
“Sure.” Alex sat up and Logan did the same.
“You’re my best friend and you know that I love you and would do anything for you but-“
“You’re kicking me out.”
“No, not exac- yeah. I really enjoyed the time you’ve been here but I think you should sort things out with Brayden.”
“There’s nothing to sort out,” Alex said in a deadpan manner.
“I know he said some things, well almost said some things. But I think you should hear him out.”
“Says the same person that came with their pocket knife when you picked me up close to two weeks ago.”
“I know. But based on what you told me, I think Brayden is dealing with some internal trauma rather than bigotry.”
Alex sighed. “Maybe.”
“Remember when Chad used to make our lives hell back in high school?”
“How could I forget?”
“Then you’ll remember that it wasn’t us he hated; it was himself. His mom was openly hateful towards the LGBTQ+, then there was all the pressure he was under from people’s expectations, so he lashed out. It shouldn’t have been at us and our friends but it was.”
“Luckily Liam took a chance and helped him accept himself,” Alex said. He was really considering what Logan was saying.
“Even Ethan was in the closet once. He wasn’t as bad as Chad but you helped him.”
“Fine, I’ll go back. But can I stay the rest of the weekend?”
“Sure, I’ll take you down on Sunday.”
When Alex pulled up in Logan’s car on Sunday, he saw his sister’s car parked behind Brayden’s truck. Alex used his key he kept to let himself and Logan in. When they walked in the saw Jessica and Brayden at the kitchen island. Jessica was sitting on one of the stools while Brayden was standing at the other end of the counter. She had turned when she heard the door opened.
“Little brother! Logan!” she said. Alex izmir escort gave a quick smile and a wave.
“Hey Jess,” Logan said.
Jessica saw Alex’s duffel bag. “Are you moving back in?”
“Yeah I am.” Alex knew Brayden was looking at him but he didn’t look back.
“Did you enjoy your time on campus?” Jessica continued.
“Yeah I did. Logan here really took care of me.” Alex placed his arm around Logan’s shoulder. Logan saw that Brayden’s eyes followed Alex’s arm so he entwined his fingers with Alex’s own. Logan looked directly at Brayden as he did this. Since Alex was trying not to look at Brayden, he didn’t realise what was going on.
“As he always does,” Jessica said. “Do you want to see a miracle?”
“Sure.” Alex answered. Jessica held up a bowl that was between her and Brayden and tilted it to Alex. Alex removed his arm from Logan looking confused.
“Brayden has started eating actual fruit,” Jessica said with excitement. “Yesterday, I came in and saw him making a smoothie with kiwi, berries and celery.”
“Why is that a miracle?” Logan asked.
“For the longest while I have been trying to convince him to eat actual fruits and diversify his vegetables. I’m always telling him that taking a multivitamin is not the same as eating actual food.” Jessica placed the bowl back down on the counter. “I don’t know what made him change his mind but I’m glad he’s finally listening.”
“Yeah that’s good for him,” Alex said. Alex looked at Brayden this time but his eyes weren’t met. “Well I’m going to unpack.” Logan followed Alex upstairs.
“Did something seem weird to you about just now?” Jessica asked Brayden.
Brayden shrugged as he put a piece of pineapple in his mouth.
“Probably just school,” he said.
“Does Logan study the same thing as Alexander?”
“No. Logan is pursuing Journalism.”
“Hmm. He helped with the school newspaper back in high school right?”
“Yeah. He was basically second in command.” Jessica remembered the different papers that Alex would bring home from school.
Upstairs, Logan was sitting on Alex’s bed while he unpacked.
“Well that went well,” Logan said. “Are you o.k.?”
Alex paused from packing his drawers and looked at Logan. ‘”Yeah; why wouldn’t I be?” Logan just looked at him. Alex rolled his eyes. “Yeah I’m fine. I’ll see if he wants to talk after my sister leaves later.”
“Okay.” At that moment, Logan’s phone vibrated. He looked at it and it was a text from Oliver.
“What’s wrong?” Alex asked. He was now sitting opposite to Logan on the bed.
“It’s Oliver. He uh, just asked me out on a date.’
“Really?” Logan turned the screen so that Alex could see it. “See? I told you he was interested in you.”
“I guess you were right.”
“Are you going to accept?”
“Yeah, I think I should give it a go.” Logan tapped away at the screen. A few seconds later, his phone vibrated again. “So I have a date with Oliver on Friday.”
“Now all we have to do is get you one.”
“Logan, please don’t start this again.”
“If you’re not going to look for a prospective boyfriend, you at least need to get yourself some dick or ass.” Alex looked away when Logan said this. “You’ve acted weird every time I’ve brought this up. Is my best friend having secret sexcapades and not telling me?”
After some hesitation, Alex said “Yes.”
“Oh my gosh! With whom? Is it someone from one of your classes?”
“Yes, but not in the way that you think.”
After some thought, Logan realised what Alex meant. “Are you having sex with Professor Brooks?!”
“Why did you guess him?”
Logan shook his head. “Oh, Alex. You have such intelligence but don’t always use it. Obviously you’re referring to your lecturers and only one of them is male. So unless you recently had a realisation about yourself, I’ll go with Professor Brooks.”
“Yeah, it’s Christopher.”
“You’re on first name basis. The sex is that good?” Alex just smiled. “You have to tell me everything.” Alex told him about the flirting in the tutorial the week before and what has been going on in Christopher’s office since Monday.
“I know you told me you thought he was checking you out in class but wow,” Logan said after Alex had finished speaking. “So what does he look like underneath those clothes?”
“Well he isn’t chiseled but you can tell he works out.”
“And the dick?” Logan wiggled his eyebrows.
“Seven inches but my hand barely closes around it.”
“Well I guess you can cross off sleeping with an older guy off your fantasy list. How old is he anyway?”
“Forty was your limit so that will work. Wait a minute. Isn’t he married?”
Alex nodded. “And he has a twelve year old daughter.”
“Oooo Alex, that’s messy.”
Alex fell back onto the mattress. “I know, I know.”
“Do you think this will become something serious?”
“No. The sex is good but this probably won’t even last ’till the end of the semester.”
“Alex,” alsancak escort Logan said with concern. “Sleeping with an already taken man was not on your fantasy list.” Alex sat up and just looked at Logan. “Oh right. That person’s name is on it so I guest that can substitute for that.”
Logan spent some more time with Alex and left later in the evening. Jessica also came upstairs to say bye before leaving to go home. It was around 6:00 pm when Alex decided to go downstairs for something to eat. While he was walking down the stairs, he heard music playing. When he got to the bottom, he saw Brayden dancing and singing along to the music in Spanish. He also had a beer in his hand. There were also three empty bottles on the dinning table.
“Hey Xanny!” Brayden said when he finally saw Alexander. “How are ya?”
“I’m fine. I just came down for something to eat.”
Alex went over to the fridge and took out lettuce, a tomato, a cucumber and roast beef to make a sandwich. As he assembled it, he couldn’t help but steal glances at Brayden as he danced. Alex had his sandwich on a plate and was walking past the dining table when Brayden quickly took the plate from him.
“What are you doing?” Alex asked.
“Dance with me,” Brayden said after putting down the plate and the beer that he was holding.
Alex heard what he said but was still confused. “What?”
“Dance with me.” Brayden stretched out his arm.
“Brayden, I just came down for something to eat.” Alex stepped to a side but Brayden blocked him. “Brayden…”
“Dance with me and you’ll get your sandwich.”
Alex thought about it but quickly darted for the sandwich. But Brayden caught him and pulled Alex into himself. “Dance.”
Brayden’s emerald eyes pierced into Alex’s brown own. Although Brayden was bigger and stronger than him, Alex knew he could easily escape Brayden’s grasp. But he didn’t. “Fine,” he said. Alex wasn’t much of a dancer but he had some rhythm and knew how to keep in time.
The music had changed to a slightly slower song and Brayden now had his arms around Alex’s waist from behind. While dancing with Brayden, Alex thought it was a bad idea but he was having fun. That ‘bad idea’ really sunk in when he felt Brayden’s erection against his ass.
“Yes?” Brayden said while grinding his crotch into Alex’s ass. Alex pulled away from him.
“I’m not doing this,” he said.
“Not doing what?” Brayden sounded genuinely confused.
“This!” Alex waved his hand between himself and Brayden.
“We were just dancing.”
“You know full well that that was more than just dancing.” Alex didn’t hide his annoyance. “I’m not going down this road again just so you can blame it on being drunk in the morning.”
“I’m not drunk. I can’t get drunk off of a few beers.”
“Drunk, tipsy, whatever. Point is, I’m not doing this again. I’m going upstairs.” Alex turned to leave.
“Your sandwich.” Brayden gestured to the table.
“I’m not hungry anymore,” Alex said before walking up the stairs.
Brayden stood there for a couple moments before taking the unfinished beer and pouring the rest down the sink.
Alex was asleep when he heard a knock at his bedroom door. He stirred when it came a second time. Then he heard his name. It was Brayden. Alex reached for his phone on the side table. His eyes squinted from the light. It was 12:05 am.
“Alex, are you up?” Brayden called.
Alex wondered if Brayden had drank some more and was actually now drunk. Brayden knocked and called his name once more. On one hand Alex wanted to stay in bed but he was also curious as to what Brayden could possibly want at this time of night. He went to his door and poked his head out. He saw Brayden walking back to his room.
“Brayden.” He turned at his name.
“Hey. Um, can we talk?”
“It’s after twelve in the morning. Can’t it wait until tomorrow? Well until the sun rises?”
Brayden ran his hand through his hair. “I’m not sure I’ll have the nerve by then.”
The movement made Alex look Brayden over. He was wearing a grey joggers and white and grey running shoes. A blue t-shirt was slung over his right shoulder and his earphones were around his neck. His skin was also glistening. Alex wasn’t thinking anything sexual, he was just confused.
“I went for a run. Needed to clear my head,” Brayden answered the unspoken question.
Brayden put his hands in his pockets and lightly rocked on his heals. He was nervous,
“Are you sober?” Alex asked.
Alex stepped back into his room. Brayden took him leaving his door open as an invitation to come in. When he entered, Alex sitting on his bed. He motioned for Brayden to sit in the office chair by the desk. Brayden walked over and placed his shirt and earphones on the desk next to Alex’s laptop. He turned the chair to face Alex before sitting. Brayden looked around the room as though he was seeing it for the first time, before settling on buca escort Alex.
“How’s school going?” he asked.
“Your lecturers good also?”
“For the most part.”
“Good, good.” Brayden ran his hand through his hair. “I put your sandwich in the fridge for you.”
“Yeah, turns out I was hungry after all and I saw it. Thanks.”
“Didn’t think you would’ve come back,” Brayden said after some silence.
“Me either. But Logan convinced me.”
“Is this the talk you wanted to have with me?”
Brayden leaned back in the chair and ran his hands along his thighs. “No, not really.” Alex waited. Brayden then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. He tucked his hair behind his ears and took a deep breath before speaking. He looked at the floor while he spoke.
“When I was younger, there was this new kid that transferred in the middle of the school year. Almost all the girls in my year was talking about him. Rightfully so at that. He wasn’t just something new to pay attention to. He was cute, smart, confident and puberty was working out quite well for him already. Something not many of us could’ve said at that age. He sometimes hung around with my circle and I always felt a certain way when he was around.” Brayden hesitated to continued and Alex gave assurance that it was o.k.
“After some time, I realised that I was attracted to him. I was never attracted to another guy before. As you know, my parents are very religious so I was freaking out on the inside. I started to avoid him whenever I could. I was still attracted to girls, so I thought it was all good. But he would still pop into my brain sometimes.” As Brayden spoke, he played with his fingers, still not making eye contact with Alex.
“I used to watch adult videos almost everyday and over time I found myself drifting to the bi section. Some videos I paid more attention to the guys than the women. My parents from time to time would check up behind me so I would delete my search history. Private browsing wasn’t really a thing back then. But this one time in the rush of things, I forgot to delete my history and my dad saw some of the websites I was visiting. To say that he wasn’t pleased would be an understatement.” Brayden paused for a moment before continuing.
“He was pissed. He was quoting scriptures and calling me, mostly people ‘like me’ names. If I didn’t get back on the straight and narrow, I’ll be going to hell. My mom wasn’t as angry or disgusted but the disappointment on her face nearly broke me. The bible studies and the prayer sessions became longer. I actually thought is was working, until it wasn’t. I became more careful with my browser history and I was having dreams about being with both boys and girls. I was a bit older now and struggling to accept myself. I had overheard another student said that they had came out to their parents and it went better than expected. Their parents were Christian also. My parents had become less restrictive and didn’t seem as uptight anymore. So I thought I would take a chance and tell my parents that there’s a possibility that I may be bisexual. Big mistake.” Brayden eyes fluttered across the room before he spoke again.
“What I got instead was a whack around the head with a bible.” Alex gasped at this. He wanted to go over and hug Brayden but somehow, he couldn’t move. “If my mom hadn’t stepped in, I don’t know what would’ve happened. I got the lecture from her that night. She was calm and tried to be understanding but I knew what she was trying to say. For the rest of high school, I had girlfriends and my parents were happy. The closest I ever got to a guy was the circle jerks I told you about before and that was to straight videos. Even though I had relationships with girls my dad still made underhanded comments. That is until…”
“Until what?” Alex was scared as to what may come next.
“One day during the summer before my senior year of high school, my dad caught me and another guy in my room. The way we reacted, he got the wrong idea. We were doing something wrong but not what he was thinking. My friend was rolling joints that we could smoke later down by the stream. Weed wasn’t legal yet back then. After he threw out my friend, who was lucky enough to sneak away with the weed, the shouting began. It was either I let him have the wrong idea or tell him I was smoking the ‘devil’s lettuce’. Not to make matters worse, I went with what I was accustomed to. But this time, something snapped in me and I shouted back. It was the first time I ever did it. My dad was livid. It was the first time for something else also. He took off his belt to hit me with it but he never got the chance…”
“What happened?” Alex was now leaning into the conversation.
“My mom stabbed him,” Brayden chuckled although he didn’t find anything funny.
“You mom did WHAT?!”
“Stabbed him; right in the shoulder. His arm went up and hers came down. I saw it coming but I was so shocked at what I was seeing, that I couldn’t say anything.” Brayden shook his head at the memory.
“How did your parents explain that to the police or the hospital?”
“They didn’t have to. The knife didn’t go deep and since my mom’s a nurse, she dealt with it. And my dad didn’t want to explain to the police why his wife would stab him. I don’t even think my mom ever even apologised for stabbing him.”
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