Cumnoisseur Ch. 04

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Original story by Brian Porter – Edited by Cham Couthe (thanks, mate)

“Is that enough?” Logan asked me as I put a package of corn starch in the basket.

“Dude, there’s five pounds here. That’s enough for a whole year of fake c–” I stopped myself. It wouldn’t be wise to say that out loud. “You know what.”

“You’re wrong. Think about it. Every time my jizz–“

I shushed him. Logan looked a little annoyed but continued more cautiously.

“Every time it changes flavour, you’re gonna need to cook a new batch and the old one goes down the drain. Besides, you’re not cooking only one cup of the fake nectar.” I don’t know why he chose the word ‘nectar’, but it wasn’t as compromising as jizz or cum. “You’re making what? A gallon? You’re gonna have to drink a lot of this stuff so you can really get used to the taste. Otherwise, you’d never be able to tell the difference. Maybe it’s a pinch of sugar extra that will change the whole thing, and we don’t want to mess up with this, right?”

Logan then approached me and whispered in my ear. “Think of the chicks saying our jizz tastes better than a milk shake. Dude, think of all the bitches lining up outside our doors just to have a taste of our nectar. They’re gonna completely drain us. We’ll become legends in our dorm.”

I can’t deny it–his proposition was just amazing. The very idea of hot chicks lined up and begging for my jizz made me hard like a fucking rock. Logan knew what he was doing. The guy was a genius.

“Ok. Let’s get two just in case.” I put five more pounds of starch in the basket.

“Atta boy! We’re one step closer to becoming legends, my man.”

“Can’t wait.” I was truly happy. I wasn’t thinking about what I’d need to go through before getting to that ideal stage of idolization. I only imagined I was a step closer to achieving the ultimate dream of any man.

The shop wasn’t too busy, and we could find everything we needed. Well, to put it precisely, the stuff I needed, because Logan didn’t ask for anything. I had a short list with a few products I thought were important for our experiment. Stuff that people on the internet said could make cum taste better. It was awkward to make Logan’s grocery list since he would be the one eating the stuff I bought, but I thought it wasn’t so bad since he’d be paying for that.

“You know what would be nice?” Logan was swapping price tags on the shelves while I looked for a specific brand of natural yogurt.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“You could find out how to make something that smells like cum.” There was no one around, so I didn’t care about his word choice.

“Why?” I still didn’t stop to look at him as this all seemed like a natural conversation.

“You know how the smell of dirty jocks makes your willy soft…”

“Oh, c’mon. ‘Willy’?” I finally looked at him, but he didn’t turn his head to face me.

“What’s wrong, dude? It’s tiny, isn’t it? The faster you get that, the faster you’ll get over it. Besides, soon it will be as big or bigger than mine.”

“True that.” I resumed my searching.

Logan didn’t say another word. I knew his silence meant he was probably pissed.

“Go on.” I didn’t want to provoke him. Logan could be so sensitive sometimes.

“Can I say ‘willy’ or you’ll stop me every time I do?”

“For fuck sake, just go on.”

“Anyway, I was thinking that maybe the smell of cum would make your willy soft too.”

I found the yogurt I wanted and put it in the basket.

“I bet it would, but we can’t make such a thing.”

“Course we can.” Logan picked up his phone and I soon received a message from him with a link to a page that showed what ingredients were needed to make a legit cum fragrance.

“You can’t be serious,” I protested.

“It doesn’t hurt to give it a try, right? Besides, we can find all this stuff in the cleaning section over there.”

“You’re nuts,” I said before turning away towards the cleaning aisle.

“Fuck, man. You won’t believe this…” Logan sounded excited. I looked back at him. He was reading something on his phone with a large smile on his face. Then he moved his eyes from the phone to me and turned serious. “Never mind.”

“What is it?”

“I said never mind.”

“What the fuck, dude? What is it?” I dropped the basket and threw myself toward Logan who fought to keep his phone away from me. I did my best to get it from him, but he wouldn’t let me. This could have gone on until someone kicked us out from the supermarket, but he quit before it happened.

“Okay! Okay!” he said, giving up. “But you won’t like it. I just wanted to protect you.”

“What won’t I like?”

“Fuck, man. I’m sorry, okay? It’s just… Sarah texted me to say she wants to meet me again. Sarah and Michelle.”

“Wow, that’s nice.” I smiled. “We’re gonna have another date?”

“No, dude. Listen to me. She said they want to meet me. The two of them want to fuck me and only me. Sorry.”

Wow, that hurt. I couldn’t believe it. For a second, I was so devastated I could cry.

“Why’s that?” I did my best to ask him without letting almanbahis my sadness show.

“Your willy, dude. She said it’s too tiny. Then Michelle said she wants to see mine since Sarah’s been bragging about it. She said she’d be willing to swallow my nasty jizz if I agree to meet them.”

“Good for you.” I picked up the basket, thinking I’d drop it somewhere and go back home.

“Hey, wait. I didn’t say I’m going, did I?”

I turned around. I wasn’t expecting that.

“Ain’t you going? Are you mad? Why?”

“Coz we’re brothers, right? We do everything together. I’d never do that without you.”

That fucking bastard was the best friend someone could have. I dropped the basket again and rushed to give him a bear hug.

“You son of a bitch.” I was happy again.

“Let me go. Fuck. People are staring at us.”

There was no one around us, but I preferred to be a little less conspicuous.

“I’ll tell her we can do that later this month. I’ll say I’ll have a big surprise for her if she waits.”

“And what’s the surprise?”

“You! You idiot. When your willy starts to look like a real massive cock, we go and meet them. They’ll regret treating you like shit.”

“But will one month be enough?”

“Well, we just need to play right and hard like we always do. I’m sure it’ll be enough. You just need to do as I say.”

“You bet.”

“And let’s surprise them with our sweet nectar too, eh? And then, once they have it and come back for more, we say that ain’t happening. These bitches will be humiliated for life.”

I hugged the son of a bitch again.

We headed to the cashier with a full basket. I scanned all the products and showed the screen to Logan.

“What?” he asked.

“Ain’t you paying?”

“Why would I? This is about you, dude. I could get a BJ if I wanted, remember?”

“Fuck.” I was glad I had some cash on me to pay for that stuff.

“It’ll be worth it, dude.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s alright.”


Back home, Logan followed me into my apartment. He wanted to make sure I had all the ingredients right. I put them all on the counter and checked the list. It seemed correct.

“So, how much should I eat?” Logan asked, inspecting the pineapple in his hand.

“I’m not sure. Why don’t you have half a day?” I gave him other fruits and took notes of how many he’d be eating in the next three days. “We try this now and then we can change the amount as we see the results.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” He put the fruits back in the bag. “Why don’t you have your juice now?”

“My juice?”

“The fake cum.”

“Oh, I’m still burping it, man.”

“That’s good. Remember…”

“I know.”

I had a bottle full of ‘juice’ in my fridge. I took it out but didn’t feel very pleased with the prospect.

“Why don’t you look happy?” Logan asked.

“This ain’t good, dude. You should give it a try…”

“Nah, what for? We don’t want to waste it on me. This is about you. Think of those bitches crying once we kick their asses. What do you say? Don’t you want that? Or do you prefer being a loser while they laugh at you?”

“No way.”

“So.” He pointed at the bottle.

Logan was right. I poured the liquid in a cup, and he asked me to fill it up. That wouldn’t be easy. I took it to the microwave and warmed it for a few seconds before drinking it all in one go. In the meantime, Logan was having a mandarin. I envied him, but I knew it would all end soon. What’s a small sacrifice when we have such high ambitions, right?

“Bad?” he asked after seeing my disgusted face. “Don’t worry, bro. I bet by the end of the week you’ll be used to it. And remember that the taste will only improve. To be honest, I think by the end of the week, you’ll have a craving for nectar.”

“I doubt it.”

“We’ll see. These two boys here will produce the most irresistible juice you’ve ever had in your mouth.” He grabbed his balls over his shorts. For a moment, I had forgotten I still had to swallow the real deal. “By the way, I know there are pills that also help with the taste. We could give ’em a try. And I also want to buy pills that make men cum more. See what we can use for that.”

I gave a shy little nod. I wasn’t totally used to the idea yet.

“I will need money for that. Can I use your credit card? You’ve got money, right?” Logan said.

“That was for my trip back home next month.”

“Just don’t go, dude. C’mon, that won’t be better than humiliating those bitches, right?”

I pictured Sarah and Michelle crying after being dismissed by me, and I couldn’t contain a smile.

“Course not.” I laughed. “Totally worth it.”

I gave Logan my card and the password.

“Sweet. Let me know about the pills once you finish your research,” he said. “And I’ll look into stopping your boners. That won’t be easy, but I’m thinking about something I can buy to help you.”

“What’s that?”

“Surprise.” He laughed. “Hang on a sec.”

Logan left with the fruit bag and returned with another bag seconds later. He headed to my room and I went after him. almanbahis yeni giriş He was spreading dirty socks and jocks around, including under my pillow. At first I felt like stopping him, but I knew this was for my own good.

“Fuck, dude. That’s disgusting.”

“I know. Sorry but we need to make this work. It’s not just about you anymore. I told them to wait a month and promised to surprise them. If I can’t do that, I’ll be the one humiliated.”

I hadn’t thought about that. I could survive those bitches laughing at me, but I couldn’t live knowing I humiliated my best mate.

It was getting late and Logan went back to his apartment.

I decided to watch TV, but before I could relax, Logan texted me. He reminded me I should proceed with my research.

Fuck, I thought.

I reached for my laptop and started looking for a lot of shit related to cum flavour enhancement and how to increase its production. There was quite a lot of stuff about it online. It made me wonder why people were so fascinated with cum. I knew for sure that I’d love to have chicks swallowing my fluids, but I’d never stopped to think the reason why. Gosh, people were so obsessed with it, they made fake cum to drink and smell. What was it about cum that drives people crazy?

I took a few notes before going to my room. The smell wasn’t too strong, but it was definitely disturbing. I thought I could either take them out or I could sleep on the couch, but that would be cheating. I couldn’t let my bud down like that. I should take it like a man. I could do it. I laid down and closed my eyes. I thought I was in the locker room. It smelt that bad.

Gross, I thought. Fortunately, I was a heavy sleeper. In no time, I passed out.

I heard my phone buzzing when the sunlight was barely lighting my smelly room. It was Logan, of course.

‘Too early.’ That’s all I could type. It was one hour earlier than my usual wake up time.

Not two minutes later, and Logan was knocking on my door.

“I can’t believe this!” I screamed loud enough for him to hear me from the other side.

I opened the door and found him still wearing his pjs and looking sleepy too.

“We gotta wake up earlier from now on.” He let himself in and sat at my kitchen table.

“What for?” I closed the door and made my way to the fridge.

“Wait. What are you doing?” He asked as I grabbed a bottle of milk.

“Drinking some milk?”

“No, man. You can’t. That’s why we need to wake up earlier in the first place. We need to take advantage of your resting time. After hours without eating or drinking anything, you’ve got what they call a fresh palate. That’s the best time to taste something for real without mixing flavours.”

“So what?” I was still holding that bottle of milk and I was too sleepy to understand what Logan wanted from me.

“Are you dumb or something? This is the best time for you to swallow my jizz, dude. Just don’t know how I’ll be able to cum while I’m this sleepy.”

I put the milk back in the fridge. “We don’t need a whole hour for that. Geez, you can cum in two minutes.”

“Dude, don’t forget you still need to cook the fake cum. And it can take a while ’til you get the taste right.”

Logan stood up and opened my fridge before pushing me away. “Is milk good for cum?” he asked.

“Not sure.”

“Damn it, bro. I know you didn’t have much time to study, but you better try harder. Think of this as your number one priority. It’s more important than tests. More important than training. Got it?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“My fucking honour is on the line here.”

Logan had been bossy before, but this was different. It was not only the way he demanded things, but his attitude. The change was minimal, but I could feel it. I think it’s because he made it clear that it was all about me. He was doing me an enormous favour, and I should be trying harder. That’s basically the first time our relationship wasn’t balanced. I now owed him. Whatever I did, I’d still be indebted to him. Until we were done with the girls, I’d need to get off my ass and do better.

The situation was new indeed, but Logan still found a way to make me smile. He’d make a joke or two every now and then and things would seemingly go back to normal. All of this would change depending on his mood.

“So, I’ll go with orange juice. I’ll have a cup first thing in the morning. You better write it down.”

I wouldn’t give him reason to be upset again. I quickly grabbed the pen and took a note.

“I think I’ll need to get in the mood.” He looked down at his crotch. “He’s sleepy too.”

“Porn?” I asked.

“Yep. Do you have that one you like? Or we can go back to my place?”

“Let’s go to yours. I don’t know where it is.”

I followed him to his apartment. On the way, Logan was drinking his juice undisturbed.

“The jocks worked? Did you have an erection this morning?” He closed the door after me and walked to his couch.

“Now that you mention it, I don’t think I was hard.”

He smiled.

“Fuck, yeah, dude. That’s awesome! I’m so proud almanbahis giriş of you. Fuck. Just awesome.”

“Yeah. Dude, I think it’s the first time I didn’t wake up with morning wood in years. Seriously. Maybe ever since I was eleven or something?” I laughed too.

“I knew it would do the trick. That’s simply amazing.” The situation seemed back to normal with the two of us celebrating together. “But that’s the easiest part. So, let’s try to be realistic here. You need to learn how to remain limp when you’re watching porn. That’ll be tricky.”

“I know,” I confessed. “Don’t think that’ll work.”

“We can do this. Think of how big your willy will get after this. Don’t you dare give up now. We’re going on with this to the end.”

“Of course. There’s nothing I want more. But do you think it’s really possible?”

“I started my research and I can say I think it is possible.” He raised his right eyebrow and gave me a shy grin.

“No shit!”

“Yes shit. But it’s gonna take a lot to get there. Are you game?”

“You kidding? Course I am.”

“Great. First thing I learned is that you can remain limp during the day if you first learn how to remain limp when being stimulated.”

“What do you mean?” That sounded confusing. Almost scientific. Logan must have been studying really hard.

“You’ll have to learn how to not get aroused when a chick is touching you. You know, you can’t get a fucking boner not even if the hottest chick in the world is licking your balls. You can’t get hard if she puts your soft willy in her mouth. You just can’t.”

“Dude, I get hard just hearing the sound of those bitches moaning. If they touch me, I’d be hard straightaway. That’ll never work.”

I probably sounded disappointed. I had envisioned something that could never happen and now I was dealing with the reality.

Logan sighed, probably tired of my negativity.

“Hey, we can do this, ok?”

I stopped for a second and then realized I had a question that should be relevant.

“Wait. But if we manage to do this–which I think is impossible–won’t it be weird? If I can’t get hard even if a chick is sucking my dick…”


“Yeah, my willy, then I won’t be able to have sex anymore. I don’t want that, right?”

“Relax. It’s temporary. Here’s the plan. We’ll do our best to keep your willy soft for a week. I’ll explain to you what we’ll be doing, and you must obey. Okay? A few days before meeting those bitches, we’ll pay a whore to come and work your body. You won’t be allowed to have an erection. If you pass the test, then we quit the experiment and give you some time to recover your normal boner.”

“Oh, I see. So, it’s not permanent?”

“Not at all.” He finished his juice and placed the glass on the side table.

“And what if I fail?”

“Then I’ll try to postpone our deal with them. I don’t know. I could actually do it now. What do you think? We could get another month maybe? Rather than having your willy soft for a few weeks, we could have it soft for a couple of months?”

“I doubt I can. Besides, I need to cum too…”

“In the beginning, you’ll cum a lot. But, after a while, I guess you won’t be allowed to anymore.”

“For how long?” I was worried.

“For as long as necessary. You think you need to cum now, but when we start your training, I’m quite sure you’ll change your mind. Maybe, someday, you’ll realize you don’t need to cum at all. Ever again.” The bastard laughed.

“That will never happen, motherfucker. You should know that better than anyone.”

“Whatever. We need to try, man. You must do it. There’s no other way.”

“And what if it’s not temporary. What if I get limp for the rest of my life?”

“Do you think that’s possible? No fucking way. That would never happen.” Logan was smiling again. He obviously knew what he was doing.

“So, how do we start?”

“That’s the spirit.” His smile grew wider. “Take the bowl and let me cum coz you need to have your breakfast too.”

This would have sounded way more repulsive if he had uttered it a day ago, but now it wasn’t so offensive. He was trying to help me. I got the bowl in the kitchen and gave it to him before sitting down by his side.

Logan turned on the TV and the bitch was taking it in her cunt. Logan didn’t hesitate to show me his huge erection, but I was afraid to show him my little one. I was so angry at myself. I got hard in less than ten seconds of moaning.

“Are you hard?” He asked me.

“Not yet,” I lied.

Logan quickly threw a pair of socks over me. God knows where he got them from.

“Sniff that and see if it works.”

The touch of those socks was enough to make me sick.

“Oh, c’mon, dude. We’re over this already.” Logan pushed my hand to my face and soon I had the socks rubbed against my mouth and nose. I wanted to say something but didn’t dare open my mouth. Once he let go of me, I considered speaking out, but still thought better of it. Again, a day ago my reaction would’ve been totally different.

I focused on the smell, but the sound of the bitch yelling was too distracting. Logan wasn’t taking it easy with me. He was choosing the films I liked the most. All those orders and domination from powerful men over weak bitches was hard to disregard. How I wished I could be like one of those guys.

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