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‘Will you be my boyfriend?’
‘Yes, of course I will.’
These words drummed around my head for several days after Reece had officially asked me out. At the time I said “yes” I felt elated for the most part. Even the next day however, I was beginning to harbour some doubts.
Reece had basically saved me from my family and helped me through some really troubled times and I would always be grateful for that. Indeed, I think that the two of us have a bond that cannot truly be broken as a result and I may never have the same connection with anyone else again. But the answer still didn’t seem simple and clear-cut. My brain was still a mess of conflicting images and emotions.
If I were to put it simply, I just couldn’t shake the fact that I felt like a massive slut. I had only truly slept with Reece, that was true but I couldn’t abandon the feeling that my incident with Kane crossed an invisible and unspoken line. Kane is straight and will in no way want to be my boyfriend but I did help get the horny fucker off that night in the tub. At the time, I rationalised it as “He’s straight and horny so it doesn’t count and besides, all he did was hump my arse…and kiss me passionately”. But still, I felt guilt ridden, mainly because I knew that I would probably do it again if the opportunity arose. It wasn’t just him though, I would have sex with Blake in a heartbeat; the guys in the tight business pants from work; most of the guys on the footy team if they wanted to bend me; people I walked past at the shopping centre; most of the guys and the beach and the skate park or, anyone else for that matter.
The fact was that I was 18 and horny as fuck. Shouldn’t I have the right to sleep around and get off without making an international incident out of each root? That’s how I felt deep down, even if I didn’t consciously admit it to myself. Further, I had spent my entire life looking to confide and well as sleep with people of my own gender. How is it that I am now in the situation where I have loved or slept with three to four differing blokes in the last few months?
The emotional bagged of all of this was beginning to weigh down and I started to feel a kind of raw pain that was associated with being overwhelmed and full of shame.
This all lead to the general conclusion that I just wasn’t in love with Reece, or at least not in the way he was in love with me. He smiled warmly at me every time he saw me and held me in his gentle but strong arms often. I knew that he had no doubts whatsoever.
But I did.
So why the fuck did I say “yes” when he asked me out?
“Because you’re a fucking pussy,” was all I could think of over the next week.
The Wednesday after Reece asked me out reinforced this thinking even more. I returned from work at around five in the afternoon and found the house empty. Kane and Blake would of course be at the pub for another couple of hours. I sighed as I took in the contents of the house. It was truly depressing.
A second-hand lounge alongside a second-hand armchair was paired with a second-hand coffee table and a rustic second-hand TV stand. On top of it was, of course, a second-hand TV with some bent “rabbit ear” antenna. Beyond this, everything was quite messy. The coffee table still help a collection of beer, bourbon and spirit cans, which was a culinary standard for the weekends. Alongside them was a collection of bongs. I didn’t really use them, but Kane protected them like they were his first-born child.
I couldn’t wait to find my own place. Noah and I had been loosely planning on doing so during that period of my life that I associated with complete and utter happiness. Obviously, that wasn’t going to come to fruition now though. Perhaps Reece and I would find a place together. He and his dad spent a lot of time together, going on camping trips and the like however so I don’t think he would be that keen on leaving home. Reece offered for me to go with them sometime, but I don’t know if I’d like to. Reece and his dad were close and I would never want to get in the middle of that.
I trudged up the hall and into my room which was marginally cleaner but still housed mostly dank and used furniture. Flinging myself onto my bed, I lay for hours, trying not to become overwhelmed by dark thoughts regarding Reece, money, the house, my parents and Noah.
When Kane eventually fell through the door later in the evening, I was laying in the exact spot I fell into hours before. I heard him proceed up the hall before he leaned against my open doorway.
‘How’s it going Matty?’
Kane and Blake had began the practice of abbreviating my gaziantep escort surname. I supposed ‘Matty’ from ‘Matheson’ wasn’t too bad. Better than ‘Cocky’ from Corey like some of the guys in Years 7 and 8 began to call me.
I took a deep breath, and even then it was still difficult to talk for some reason, ‘Yeah, fine.’
Kane moved in closer and sat down next to me on the bed. He must have thrown his pants and shirt off when he walked in the door because he was wearing only a pair of grey briefs.
I could smell the beer on his breath as he spoke, ‘Are you all good?’
I though about saying something different, or perhaps bursting in tears before I said the same, automatic response that always escaped my mouth, ‘Yeah, I’m okay.’
Kane considered me for a minute, which was funny. He never took anything seriously as far as I knew. He’s the type of person whose world would be falling apart and he’s still be joking around and brushing it off.
He looked concerned for a moment before he said, ‘Is it a girl…or a guy?’
I stared at him. Obviously he knew that I was capable of jerking him off and kissing him but it was still a big deal for me to admit that I might be gay. Again, I considered blowing my guts and burdening someone else with all my problems. But I couldn’t, so I just shook my head.
‘Is it Reece?’
This really caught me by surprise. Kane had only seen Reece a couple of times but he must have put two-and-two together. Maybe he even heard Reece and I fucking a couple of weeks ago after the big party.
‘You don’t see him much aye?’ Kane asked, his voice gentler than I had ever heard it. When I didn’t say anything, he continued, ‘I had a girlfriend when I was sixteen, got her fucking pregnant and everything. I left school and laid concrete to support the three of us. It was good, especially when she had the baby. We were happy for a while but then she left, and I’ve never seen her since.’
I was completely perplexed. I knew none of this at all. ‘I’m sorry Kane,’ was all I could think of saying.
‘So, I know how hard it can be anyway mate, that’s the only reason I said anything.’
I looked up at Kane and noticed that his eyes were sparkling with tears. I sat up slowly and, without saying a word, I hugged him. Surprisingly, he didn’t resist. He was such a “mans man” who played footy and drank at the pub every night. Still, he put his head against my shoulder gently and we embraced for several minutes. I could feel his heartbeat on mine and tingled every time his warm breath hit my ear.
When he pulled away, he said softly, ‘I can look after you if he’s not here though.’
When I didn’t answer, he leant in and kissed me. His stubble tickled my chin but I didn’t resist. I’m not sure why even, because I should have resisted. Every piece of logic in my brain said “no” but it didn’t matter. It just felt right; the two of us locked in a passionate frenzy. The gentleness slipped away with the minutes and before long, I found myself laying back with him on top of me. I could feel his hard dick rubbing against mine. We lay, making out and humping for ages, before he couldn’t take any more and slipped his undies down. ‘
I followed suit, taking off my clothes and throwing them on the floor. I wasn’t sure what was coming next but Kane took charge. He got back on top of me, positioned his dick against mine and started kissing me again.
He really was a good kisser. He would move from the top to the bottom lip and then move up and down my neck before going back in to make-out again. All the while, he was humping me hard. I knew that he wasn’t far off cumming already, and neither was I.
After a few minutes, the feeling of his pelvis moving back and forth and his dick sliding over mine, intensified. It was a slow build-up and as a result, I knew that the orgasm would be intense. What I wasn’t expecting was Kane suddenly moving his mouth to my ear. He started to breath heavily against it as well as kiss and roll his tongue over it. No one had ever done this to me before and it was too much.
My ear tingled with such intensity that my whole body shivered. It just felt incredible. It was like the first orgasm I had many years ago when my body shuddered. It was hands-free, brought on only by the consistent movement of his warm body. The shaking and shuddering was completely uncontrollably. I was in another universe where only the pure extasy existed.
And then it was over. My cum rubbed between our bodies as he kept moving. I knew that he was close himself. Before I could do anything however, he swore and shook violently. I felt the slipperiness between us become greater and he eventually became still.
Kane kissed me one last time before getting up slowly and gesturing towards the shower.
‘Come on mate, lets get cleaned up.’
We entered the bathroom and Kane started the shower. As he did so, I asked a question I had been meaning to for ages, ‘Have you ever been with other guys?’
‘You mean sleeping with them?’ Kane asked, jumping into the shower and gesturing for me to followed, ‘Yeah I had a mate when I lived in Queensland. We’d been friends since we were little and mucked around a fair bit. You?’
‘Only with Reece.’ I said, my guilt starting to surface now that my mind became clearer, ‘You were right about him. You’re smarter than you look.’ I added.
He laughed and lathered up the soap before washing my dick for me.
I laid in the tent for what felt like hours. My face was throbbing but I didn’t touch it, I didn’t even move. The truth was, I was terrified of Ben. Would he tell anyone that I tried to fuck him? Surely not, if he did then I could just say that he liked getting his dick sucked by a guy. Still, I was the one who came off as more of a ‘faggot’ in both scenarios.
My head was spinning. I had gone from ecstasy to pure dread in a matter of moments. Could I even go out there and face him? How long could I hide in my tent for? I heard people moving around though and knew that I would have to go out there sooner or later. Slowly, I pulled on my footy shorts, not worrying about undies or shirt. We were camping after all. I could have spent hours unzipping the tent but eventually I stepped out and the smell of eucalyptus and bushland filled my nostrils.
Jarrod, Nathan and Nick were sitting around in a similar attire to myside. Nick was just in his blue undies however, his bulge being prominent. The girls also sat around giggling with Ben, dressed only in his jeans, in the centre. Everyone acted quite normal and I started to relax a little.
Ben wouldn’t dare to out himself, surely. I sat with Nick and the others and listened to Jarrod’s story about being chased after doing a nudie run last night. I almost forgot about this morning as we joked around before Ben came over.
‘What, are you guys talking about? About how Noah tried to rape me last night?’
I stiffened and tingled with fear and panic as my mates looked from me to Ben.
Ben let his words hang in the air for a few seconds before saying, ‘And I raped him right back. I get so horny when I drink vodka. I could have fucked anything that moved last night.’
The other boys laughed, and I sighed, joining in the others. Inside however, I was fuming. So, Ben was playing stupid fucking games with me. That was one sure way to get his head kicked in.
‘By the way mate, Lilly wants you.’ Ben said, indicating the blonde haired beauty who was looking over in our direction.
I got up and wandered over to her, glad to be away from the slimy git I use to call a friend. As I approached, Lilly smiled and twirled her fingers in her hair.
‘Hey, do you wanna go for a walk?’ She asked.
Surprised, I agreed and we set off. Much of our conversation was an extension of our drunk-talks from yesterday. She was actually quite funny and easy to get on with. I found myself glancing at her consistently. She was wearing a long shirt over a bikini. Her long legs looked naked underneath the draping fabric. As we moved around, I found my dick stirring without much effort. The large bulge became quite noticeable in my footy shorts but I did nothing to hide it.
It was not until we rounded the bend back to camp when we stopped next to Nathans Landcruiser.
‘I’m glad you’re hear Noah.’ She said, batting her eyelashes at me.
My mouth went dry as I nodded, not really knowing what to say. ‘Me too,’ I finally added stupidly.
She apparently didn’t need much more because she stepped forward and kissed me while at the same time, grabbing my bulge through my short. I kissed her back, finding the taste in her mouth a bit off-putting. Still, she was making my dick well and truly hard with her gentle hand. I eventually remembered that I should touch her back and rubbered her clit through her bikini bottoms. She moaned softly as we kept kissing before moving down to her knees.
I braised myself as she pulled my cock out of my shorts and put it in her mouth. It felt pretty good. I liked the way her hand moved up and down my shaft and graced my balls. Looking around, I saw what I already knew; that the campground was largely deserted. There were some campers over the other side of the park but they were out of view. Our camp was also obscured by the tents and the truck so I relaxed a little and tried to enjoy Lilly’s tongue work.
After a while, I found myself going a little soft, no matter how hard I tried to stay erect. So, I decided to speed things along. I picked Lilly up and leaner her against the bull-bar of the 4×4. Within seconds, her bikini bottoms were on the ground and my shorts were wrapped around my hairy ankles. I worried that I may come off as desperate for a moment but Lilly’s short gasps seemed to be approving in nature. So, I wasted no time in grabbing my dick and sliding it into Lilly’s wet vagina. She continued to gasp as I began to thrust and I found something surprising.
It actually felt good.
Maybe it was the fact that I hadn’t cum for a few days, or maybe it was the dream I had this morning and the subsequent humping sesh’ but my balls were tingling and I was enjoying it. I grabbed Lilly’s boobs and cupped them, before realising that I didn’t really know what to do with them. So, I just kept fucking her, eventually working up a sweat. It was five minutes or so before I realised that I wasn’t going to make it over the edge. I was enjoying it but I just couldn’t burst my load.
Just as I was deciding to fake it however, Nathan came out of nowhere and said, ‘What the fuck is going on here?’
I was freaked for a moment but decided that I would just keep fucking and I was glad of it too. Nathan began to rub the top of Lilly’s vag, which I would never have thought of doing. She moaned more loudly and began to clench herself. I was getting closer but not quite there.
Nathan whispered after a while, ‘can I fuck her after you?’
I nodded and he dropped his shorts to wank his hard dick. What finally made me cum though was not his dick or Lilly’s clenching but Nathan’s hand slowly moving to my arse. My arse was sweaty and it didn’t take much for Nathan’s hand to slip into my crack and massage my arsehole.
I moaned loudly, made a final couple of hard and intense thrusts before pulling out and cumming all over the bonnet of the car as well as Lilly and Nathans legs.
‘Fuck yeah man.’ Nathan said, leaving his finger on the cusp of entering my hole for longer than necessary before massaging Lilly’s legs and entering her himself.
Lilly didn’t mind and kept her symphony of moans and short gasps up as Nathan pounded her. I watched them for a while, pulling my shorts up and wiping my cum off on the inside of them. After a while, I began to massage Lilly’s vagina in the same way Nathan did. I waited as long as I dared before I finally reached around and copied Nathans actions.
I ran my finger from his gooch (feeling his balls slap my hand as he thrusted) and moved it upwards. His arse was also sweaty and hairier than mine. The sweat helped my finger easily enter his crack and play with his hole. He didn’t cum immediately like me though, instead me just emitted a gasp.
I played with his hole for a while, my finger running the length of his warm hole. Nathan suddenly leaned towards me and whispered words that nearly made my dick hard again.
‘Put it in.’
I hesitated for a moment but for some reason, just like with Ben yesterday, knew that I wanted to do it. So, the tip of my finger pushed against his opening and slid in with little resistance. Aided by the sweat and the fact that he must have fingered himself while wanking (how else would his arse be so loose?), my finger slid right in. Nathan clenched his arse immediately and began to moan a little.
Not really knowing what I was doing, I started to move my finger in and out in rhythm to Nathans fucking movements. My dick became fully hard once again as I finger-fucked Nathans little arse.
Eventually, Nathan gasp and pulled out of Lilly. I kept moving my hand as he wanked the seed out of himself and felt his whole body shudder as he orgasmed.
Slowly, I backed away, Nathan pulled his shorts up and Lilly her panties. We started walking back towards camp but Lilly held me back. Nathan glanced at us before giving me a wink and moving on leaving me and the girl I had lost my virginity to, to stand around awkwardly.
‘Your really good at that.’ Lilly said shyly, grabbing my arm a little.
I didn’t really know what to say and for some reason, I had become very interested in a line of ants running across the grass.
‘Maybe we could do it again some time.’ I eventually said.
We looked at each other again and she smiled warmly. I smirked back, before finally deciding to say what I thought I must, ‘Will you go out with me.’
Before I knew it, her breasts were pressed up against my bare chest and we were making out.
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