College Chronicles Ep. 15 Pt. 01

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Bdsm

Author’s Note:

Here it is! I hope you all enjoy, I had fun writing this one. Please let me know if you do, and what you hope to see in future episodes!

Content warning: This story contains offensive slurs, rough sex, reluctance, and (mild) forced/non-consensual sex. Please read at your own discretion.

**

It was Saturday, a few days before Christmas, and I was in 001 packing to go home, free of physical reminders of Jaxx’s thorough dominance.

But I couldn’t shake memories of feelings and moments: his weight bearing down on me, hot breath in my ear, hand on my neck… and mostly the crazy stretching he’d given my poor asshole.

I’d known as soon as his thick head penetrated me; I could never truly be the same. The imposition marked an undeniable paradigm shift in our dynamic, and my life. He had made me so powerless, skewered on his prodigious phallus, totally exposed as an absolute whore. Even the times before on my knees, spooned in bed, even naked and oiled with cock lodged in my throat– none rivalled the incredible experience of being bitched out.

He’d said it, but hadn’t needed to: he owned me. His cock had left an indelible imprint inside me, permanently rearranging my priorities to fit him in. And I couldn’t shake that new fit; the weak femininity he had fucked further into me. I’d never been a man, had moved from boy to girl through the Jaxx and Cindy’s machinations. But Jaxx’s magical, otherworldly dick had completed the transformation. He had made a woman out of me.

It was a subtle change, one that took days to truly register. Maybe it was just self image; an extra pinch of satisfaction when I stroked my soft, curvy skin and watched my face in the mirror. But it was more than that too: my voice stayed higher, no effort required, stuck at the register to which he’d tuned me. And there was also a softness, a feathery quality that made me feel somehow graceful. As if I was floating an inch off the ground, instead of walking.

Life was… less serious. It was difficult to take things so hard, with the trump card that I was his. Dominance, ownership, patronage… it wrapped me in gauze, turning hard and sharp surfaces newly friendly, neutering consequences. A strange bubbly energy ran through me, and I found myself failing to stifle giggles at things that before would have ruined my day.

Or maybe it was all in my head. Maybe I was just getting used to college, feeling comfortable with a few friends and a semester under my belt. Maybe I was getting cocky, having survived an encounter with Jaxx’s main event.

*

In the immediate aftermath of our encounter, I’d been very physically affected; worn to total exhaustion from the vigor of his use. My tears were the final dramatic effort I could manage, and I’d passed out before they dried, curled up with Cindy in my bed.

When I woke the next afternoon, I could swear I still felt him inside me. It was a subtle, constant ache– not painful, but as unforgettable as him, a reminder of the revelation he’d delivered upon me.

And he was my first thought, as I clawed through covers and sleepy fog to peek around 001. But I only found Cindy, no sign of Jaxx or Aurora; no signs at all of the previous night or my turning out, other than the ones I felt.

My heart ached as well in his absence, but it was probably for the best. Cindy was more than enough, anyway. She had gone out to bring me a delicious, hangover-curing breakfast sandwich, which she forced into my hands as soon as she realized I was awake. She was her comforting, supportive self, waiting for me to finish eating, take a shower, and then letting me curl up with her on the couch for some trash tv. I leaned into self pity, indulged by her empathetic ear and active attention as I muddled through expressing my conflicted emotions and lingering melancholia. But eventually she had enough, and like a truly good friend, called me out on it.

“It’s not like you died, Sami!”

She wasn’t wrong, forced me to get up and go to the gym with her for a workout. Knowing what I needed, she worked us gently; mostly stretches and light cardio, with lots of breaks to talk. The simple physical activity actually helped calm me down, took my mind off my chaotic emotions and the aching reminder of him.

Mostly in focus were our vocal muscles, proceeding with the post-sex debrief. We ran through the whole evening from start to finish. I described my cleaning of the apartment, Aurora’s arrival, and our loaded, tense conversation. Cindy commiserated over the torture of spending one-on-one time with Aurora, and enjoyed smug laughter when I revealed Aurora’s frustration that I had chosen Cin over her, the source of spiteful venom towards both of us.

“Goddamn! Sounds little miss perfect has a crush!”

That comment gave me pause; was Cindy implying Aurora had a crush on me? I couldn’t even fathom that possibility, far too bizarre. Instead I stumbled on, describing Aurora’s insults to Cindy and my fiery, uncharacteristic response. Cindy almost gasped in disbelief when I said I’d fought back, giving İzmir travesti mock applause to my story.

“‘Atta girl! Glad you told her to fuck off! Shame she didn’t…”

That was when Cindy had arrived, and conversation shifted from exposition to joint recollection.

“Oh my god, do you remember Aurora’s face when she saw you dressed? She was so pissed!”

I did, seeing her mix of surprise, awe, and fury like a photo in my mind’s eye. Cindy was happy to laugh at the memory, but for me it recalled what Aurora had said next, which in turn prompted a question, halting with nerves about how Cindy might respond.

“Uhm… Cin… What did… What did she mean?”

“What?”

“I mean, when she yelled at you…”

Cindy gave me a blank look, must have totally forgot the moment just preceding our drinking. But it had stuck with me, along with everything else throughout the night. It had all been too convenient, suspicious… And I hoped she might have answers.

“She said… you were supposed to wear… the same thing?…”

“Oh… Oh Sami… You didn’t figure it out?”

The condescension stung a little bit, cutting me at my most vulnerable. But she caught my attention with a gentle touch, captivating my sight with her gorgeous green, gold-flecked eyes.

“We set you up, babe. I’m sorry, I thought you knew.”

I was shocked, more by my own stupidity than the revelation. How could I have missed it? The signs were so suddenly obvious; Aurora’s clipped threats, sadistic joy and jealous teasing. She had even said she didn’t like to share. And then Cindy’s usual cryptic teasing, her refusal to explain what we were doing, the veiled hints about earning Jaxx’s attention… Before me, she took my silence for confusion, and explained as I wrestled with my own naivete.

“So Jaxx has wanted your ass for MONTHS, right?”

Months? I’d known he was interested, obviously since the lap dance… But months? And then the way she said ‘wanted me’… It was a surprisingly appealing way of phrasing it, being wanted. I must have made a face at her question, because Cindy laughed and continued.

“Yeah, believe it! But I didn’t want him to uh… scare you off. He’s rough enough on you as is. So we made a deal.”

I flashed back to being oiled and naked under him, feeling his anaconda slithering between my cheeks. What had he said? ‘She’s been paying for it with her ass…’ I couldn’t help but gasp, putting the pieces together.

“Oh my god, Cin… You…”

She tossed her hair back, shot me a flippant wink as she stood.

“Yeah, you fucking owe me. But anywayyss… Your little strip tease pushed him too far.”

She giggled, remembering the conversation.

“He was, like, REALLY set on fucking you. It was kind of weird. What did you do to him, did you not tell me something??”

She gave me a searching look, eyes flaring, and I felt guilty even though I knew I’d kept no secret. I couldn’t even imagine Jaxx caring that much about something, much less me. But the interrogation passed as quickly as it came, Cindy returning to playful banter.

“So… I didn’t tell you his plan. Or that there was no… Well, that YOU were the party. And I was gonna get you the same outfit, but then I found that little present thing, and I just knew it would drive him crazy.”

Her face flipped like a switch from impishly amused to deadly serious, and my heart beat a little faster, nervous before she began to speak.

“But I SWEAR, I didn’t know he invited Aurora. I wouldn’t do that to you. And he must have told her what I was planning to wear.”

Relieved, I nodded. Of course I knew that; she loved to playfully torture me, but her treatment was predictable. Discomforting but harmless, or boundary pushing for my own good. She would never subject me to Aurora’s pointless cruelty on purpose. Cindy was glad to see we were on same page, face lifting back to her devilish smile.

“Seriously, I can’t get over her face when she saw you. And the way Jaxx looked at you… It made her so fucking mad!”

I laughed along with Cindy, remembering Aurora’s expression when she’d seen me exit the bathroom, and Jaxx’s dropped jaw next to her. I couldn’t help but wonder about how Cindy thought of the way Jaxx looked at me. But she didn’t show any signs of jealousy, putting on her best cute smile and a wheedling, pleading voice.

“So can you forgive me, Sami? Puh-leeease?”

In moments, her smile was an evil grin, and she leaned forward, voice low.

“I know it was a dick move but… you were so fucking hot, all innocent and dressed like that! You know it! And I know how much you liked how he looked at you…”

“Uhm… I forgive you Cin just… Stopp…”

But she had found a weak point, and was relentless in her friendly needling.

“You little slut, admit it! You can’t be all shy now!”

I felt so awkward talking about that subject: how I could feel his eyes stroking across my bare skin, how the heat of his desire had flared across the room and lit my own, how I’d known deep in İzmir travestileri my own subconscious exactly what was going to happen that night when his rapacious gaze fell upon me.

“Uhmmm… I… You’re right. I did like… uhh… how he was looking…”

I mumbled, afraid of the power of admitting the truth. But it passed with anticlimax; no falling of the sky, or miraculous appearance of Jaxx, not even a turn of the head from our fellow gym-goers. Cindy giggled and shoved me lightly, but it was conspiratorial and friendly. Not mocking my admission at all; encouraging it.

I was lifted by that small success, and her permanent, unflappable confidence. Less than ten minutes later, she had me venting and going back-and-forth at length on a variety of topics: how fucking rude Aurora had been to us, how frustrated I was while playing quarters, all of the things revealed in never have I ever, how his cock felt as he finally worked me over, and everything else. The whole gym/recap sesh was actually therapeutic, I realized in a comfortable silence following an especially frustrated rant. Without knowing it, I’d sorted through the cloud of jumbled thoughts and feelings; maneuvered the stormy seas of my psyche, and found the culprit at the root.

Obviously, it was Jaxx. His obtuse, emotionally jilting treatment, so kind and cruel all wrapped up in one… It stuck in my mind, in my heart, in my soul. My crush hadn’t concluded with consummation. If anything it had grown, expanded, multiplied. He thought I was hot, said I was his… But did he like me at all, for any reason other than my ass?

Even in the subversive, naughty comfort of decompressing with Cindy, I was too ashamed to voice that unspeakable desire. We vented about everything but, and when Cindy led me back to the lockers then out of the gym, I was much happier than I’d arrived.

Cindy and I spent the rest of that weekend together, filling time with nothing at all: errands, meals, binging on bad reality tv. My new attitude settled in, and when Monday rolled around I was that new Sami I described earlier; floaty and bubbly and womanly, with (most of) the confidence and poise of a cool girl on campus.

Because I WAS, unexpectedly, a cool girl on campus. Or at least a hot one. Jaxx’s mark was invisible, but felt constantly in the ways I sashayed my hips, danced on graceful feet, flipped my luxurious hair. It seemed like other men could tell what he’d done, sense how he’d popped my cherry, forcibly delivered my womanhood. If I thought I got lots of looks before, that last week was a new zenith, eyes on me at all times even with the colder winter weather pushing me into more conservative coats.

The only eyes that really mattered were Jaxx’s, though. And I kept my distance from him for the next week; lingered at Cindy’s, found different spots to eat during the day, took different walking routes than usual, skipped the classes where I thought I might see him. You could say I was afraid of him, what he might do to me, etc… But really I was avoiding him because I was afraid of what I might do. Even thinking about him stoked embers of a fire deep inside me, made me fidget and sweat.

Luckily, I saw very little of him. His busy schedule didn’t include me, and consciously dodging the usual places we crossed paths worked. And, obviously, I found excuses to stay over at Cindy’s most nights, afraid of what might happen if I spent the night in 001, just him and me.

But I couldn’t avoid him forever. And as luck had it, he caught me just before I left for winter break.

*

It was Saturday, a few days before Christmas, and I was in 001 packing to go home when the sound of keys entering lock startled me.

I had hardly turned when he swung the door open, striding in with the sheer mass and impossible grace of a stalking tiger. He wore an impressive pair of pristine white and gold sneakers, black jeans and a long, light grey coat over a simple white shirt. Like always his short-cropped hair was perfect, and there was just enough scruff on his face to look rugged, not unkempt. Effortless swagger, as if he’d stepped off the cover of GQ. I hated him so much. He towered over me from across the room, and the gravity of his entrance brought a physical pressure, making me want to fall to my knees. Or maybe that was something else.

Then those endless, devouring eyes found me, and I was trapped by the dangerous, hungry creature between me and the only exit. My heart thumped harder, blood rushed in my ears… But somehow, I managed to outwardly keep my cool, not moving a muscle, voice not immediately cracking as I spoke.

“Hi J-jaxx…”

I internally kicked myself for stuttering on his powerful name, dreading a derisive laugh. But there wasn’t any laugh, or any reaction at all. His face had settled in the trademark smirk, and he held the expression silently as he stepped across the room to his desk and removed the jacket, dropping it over the back of the chair.

I was fixed in place by his attention, feeling a slow tension creep through Travesti izmir my muscles until the buzzing thrum filled my entire body. He still watched me, the heat of his gaze sending my eyes cringing away to a far wall, forcing a release of my nerves through fidgeting of my fingers and feet.

Only then did he break the silence that had stretched over us both with looming intensity.

“Hey pussy.”

I winced as if he’d pushed me into a wall; not exactly the greeting I was hoping for. He didn’t even seem to notice my discomfort.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

It was a statement, not a question, and there was no use denying. He let the words hang in stillness between us. And hang. And hang. My eyes were still fixed on a far wall, inspecting a corner I’d never looked at until then. In my peripheral vision I could see him casually slip a hand into the waist of his jeans, half-sit against the side of his desk. And still the words hung. A second felt like a year, and I had to fill the void, even though there was nothing to say.

“Uhm… I… You… I don’t… think so…”

I could feel his eyes roll more than see them, but it wasn’t fair! What was I supposed to say? ‘Duh, first you made me a girl, then you fucked my ass!’? He had his way of making me so flustered, frustrated and totally unable to communicate. It was different from my usual awkwardness– much worse.

Jaxx shook his head slowly, and the edge of disappointment in his voice stung just like derision would have.

“Scared little Sami…”

I could feel his eyes, searing into me. But I wouldn’t meet them again, fixated on slight cracks in the wall at the corner of the ceiling. He continued, undeterred.

“…You’re avoiding me because I turned that tight little asshole into a pussy.”

“N-n-no I–“

I went to deny, but what came out was halting and stuttered, and Jaxx blew it away in an instant.

“–Shh. It’s alright, don’t freak. I figured you would.”

Then he stood, and the motion in my peripheral vision brought my head shooting up like a startled deer. In that movement I accidentally met his eyes, which had never left me. I knew I’d fucked up immediately; the endless slate expanses were dark and shimmering with sinister amusement, and try as I might I couldn’t tear away once he’d caught me. Instead I trembled as he strode across the room to stand in front of me.

I had to raise my head to look up at him, and though it might have been the millionth time, I was in physical awe of him. He towered over me, but it was more than height. His muscles were bulging and rippling, thighs as thick around as my waist. But it was more than just physical mass, as well; his presence simply tilted everything toward him. He stood for half a second, emphasizing the advantage, almost threatening.

But nothing came. Anticlimactically, he stepped to one side and fell into my desk chair, which creaked in protest under the unexpectedly heavy body.

“Where are you going?”

“Uhm… Home…”

“Yeah… Which is…?”

Fuck. Of course Cindy had told him. I felt familiar heat begin to rise in my cheeks, his tone of condescending patience making my inferiority even more painfully obvious.

“Oh… uhmm… Western PA…”

“Oh. Pittsburgh?”

“Uhm… No…”

“Oh. Oh… Shit…”

Realization that I grew up in the middle of nowhere, then pity at my humble origins. I came from an area of the state sometimes referred to as ‘Pennsyltucky’, an apt portmanteau for how it combined Northeastern geography with the redneck stereotypes of the Southern state.

An awkward silence hung for a moment in the wake of revelation, and with Jaxx not moving, I half turned back to packing. But my mind was racing. I was going back to a small, crumbling, post-coal city surrounded only by roads and fields that stretched for miles, when grim little hills didn’t pockmark the horizon. But the interaction made me realize a major piece of my life’s current landscape would be absent in my return home. Jaxx. From the day I’d wandered into 001 and found him defiling Aurora, he had been a constant, unrelenting presence. I couldn’t remember life when it hadn’t revolved around him: his whereabouts, who he was with, how he would treat me that day… What was I going to do without him around? Being home was going to be very strange.

Uncomfortable with my own train of thought, I surprised myself by breaking the silence with a coherent question.

“Are… Are you? Going home?”

Jack shook his head and began fiddling with stuff on my desk as he answered.

“Nah. My dad’s in Europe at some fundraising gala, won’t be back until the new year.”

He picked up a little figure I had right next to my laptop and idly inspected it. Gazrack, half-orc barbarian, was the first miniature I had painted by hand, one of my most beloved past characters. I winced at his dangerous attention, hoping he wouldn’t say anything, and tried to carry on.

“Oh, that… That sucks?…”

I thought it might, but he didn’t seem so bothered, and my lame attempt to continue conversation rose with hesitant uptalk. He waved a hand lazily at my attempt, dismissing any concern. Simultaneously, he replaced the miniature on the desk and woke up my laptop, presumptuously grabbing the mouse and rifling through open windows and tabs on my desktop.

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