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This story has been written from the female perspective of my previous story – An affair to remember.
“What am I doing?”
This question kept nagging me throughout this journey that I had embarked on willingly but not intentionally. I had everything that people strive for – a loving husband, adorable kids, a caring family and an amazing lifestyle. All of it was gifted to me on the platter, maybe that is why I had no inkling of the efforts it took to attain it and hence I could never appreciate the struggles of others to achieve it.
I would more often than not find myself drifting in a direction that was socially unacceptable. Though my body would restrain but my mind would falter and I would find myself thinking about the taboo. Was there something missing? I don’t know. I don’t think so. I mean platonically everything seemed picture perfect.
There was nothing I could think of that was missing. I mean I was satisfied on all fronts – physical as well as emotional. But I couldn’t figure out why the pull the pull was so strong even though I was so strongly anchored. The thought that I had looked down upon all my life and kept at the lowest pedestal had slowly crept its way through to my conscience. Soon this thought had rooted itself so deep in me that somehow it did not feel like a taboo anymore. If I had to blame someone for this slip in my moral standards it had to be Pooja. It had all started when she had apprised me about her transgressions.
What had started as disgust slowly and steadily turned into curiosity about what she will do next in her other life and how she was faring in it. But was she to be blamed for how this torrent was flooding me? She had her valid reasons to blur the lines and indulge but what were my reasons?
This conundrum kept hounding me rather keeps hounding me. Though I had an option to stand the ground let this deluge subside but I willingly chose to go with the flow. Eventually, I realised that my mind was wandering in this direction more often than not. Was it not wrong? I mean this is what is taught to us since eternity, that it is a sin. But why did it feel so essential?
This inner turmoil finally found a vent when Pooja pointed me in his direction and I caught him staring at me in the restaurant at the other day. I brushed it aside as an irrelevant act. What conspired later could have been categorised as a mere coincidence and nothing more. But I was in for a pleasant surprise when he texted me. I mean actually took the effort to find my number and the courage to drop me message without a context or a reason. More than surprised I was genuinely intrigued. I let it pass as some casual conversation but little did I know nothing would be casual soon. It all started as a friendly banter and I consciously made it a point to not lead him on. He seemed a nice guy in all departments but again the age difference between us was a stark contrast, which too was intriguing. But eventually I realised I was actually looking forward to chatting with him. I mean he never crossed the boundary but the way he spoke tweaked my interest. He was so well informed, intelligent and most importantly a thorough gentleman. He seemed safe. Plus we had a lot in common so that was like an icing on the cake. It was just perfect but then he had mess things up like all men do.
He shouldn’t have asked me out. I know it was the next obvious thing in whatever it was that we were embarking on. But I still thought it was immature and too early. He should have waited. I don’t know whom I was more pissed at – him for asking me out or me for wanting to go. I knew this was unnatural but it felt logical.
Nonetheless I vented out my self doubt by reprimanding him without foreseeing a backlash. But the way he responded put me off guard. It was like he knew what was there on my mind and he was making his moves accordingly. I had made up my mind of not showing up for coffee. But the part of my mind Kayseri Escort that had taken this call was losing every argument to irrationality. It was like something had possessed me and I was hell bent on destroying all that I had cared for. The next day I woke up in this unfazed, indecisive state of mind which did not go unnoticed. My husband urged me to share my concern but I couldn’t explain the mess I was putting myself into. I apprised him that it was nothing and that it was just an off day.
After everyone had left, I kept staring at my phone to see if there was any message from him. The clock kept ticking like a time bomb and I could sense irrationality inching towards victory one argument at a time. I decided to step out for some fresh air. I thought a change in space might turn the tide. But the devil in me had different plans. I invariably landed up at the same mall shopping for silly things to pass my time. I actually I had butterflies when it was time to meet him. But somehow I held back allowing rationality one last chance to hold me back. It seemed like a victory at first and I actually held the thought of walking there for almost an hour in the food court but eventually I did get up walked in that coffee shop. I couldn’t believe that I was doing this. This was insane. But the insanity melted when I saw him there. That is when it dawned on me that I wasn’t doing this just to quench my curiosity but because I had developed some feelings for him also. It may not have been as intense as those for my husband but they were there and I was flummoxed by this realisation. I knew this was not the right place as I was losing control of the situation and hence I asked him to come along.
As we got in the car I was completely flustered with the realisation that had sunk in. He tried to build a conversation throughout the journey but all I could give him was stern looks which represented the storm that was stirring in me. I wanted to back out. I really did but somehow my alter ego betrayed that intention and I kept driving till we reached a remote spot.
Me: “What do you want?”
Him: “honestly… you!”
His direct response caught me off-guard and I tried to discourage his candidness.
Me: “Are you fucking out of your mind you loser? What made you think I would be remotely interested in this?” (Pointing at me)
Me: “The fact that you came here…”
Aparna: “I am here to tell you to walk away without any consequences. You are playing with fire here…”
Me: “Am I? Or are you?”
Now he was asking really pointed questions. It felt like he had vantage point in my thought process and my next move. I now desperately wanted to control the situation.
Me(mellowing down): “listen it wont work… don’t push it…”
Him: “I don’t know if you have noticed but the lines have pushed here. You should not have come. But now that you are here… you might as well hear me out…”
I sat there in silence trying to comprehend my next move.
Him: “I know you have everything that is socially desired and acceptable but what I have to offer caters to those inner currents. That inner desire we keep suppressing with the fear of being socially outcast… of losing everything that we have worked for all our life… things we cherish… All of this is completely acceptable and is the harsh truth. But what if… i gave you an opportunity to have the forbidden fruit. “
Me: “But I don’t want this forbidden fruit!”
Me: “don’t you? Then We are wasting our time here. We might as well go back and move on with our lives.”
I was dumbfounded now. He was touching the right chords for me to take the leap. I was slowly resigning to the fate and sighed.
Him: “I know you have the near perfect life with your fancy gadgets, expensive clothes, almost perfect love life… but deep down you miss the spark that I can offer.”
Me: “what can you offer?”
Him: Kayseri Escort Bayan “An escape from your monotony for our mutual benefit and at your convenience. It need not always be physical but an emotional duct to explore the flavours life has to offer.”
Me: “Why do you the spark is missing?”
Him: “I don’t… but if it wasn’t you wouldn’t be here.”
What he had said in the last few minutes made sense. The monotony had indeed taken its toll. Though it was not evident in my behaviour but it had permitted my morals to bend and allow this idea to take root and mature so much that it no longer felt immoral. It was getting too much to handle. My palpitations were on the rise. It was getting stifling sitting in the car and fighting this inner turmoil. I couldn’t handle it anymore and I stepped out for some fresh air.
He soon followed. He walked up to me and held my hand. I was intrigued by his boldness but did not shrug him off. I looked into his his eyes Saw the conviction in them. The last strand of doubt that was still there was now withering away.
Him: “listen… I don’t have answers to all your questions nor do I know how this will end… All I know is I have this inner urge of spending some part of my life in your company creating memories that I can reminisce and cherish later in life without having any regrets… I know its difficult to fathom the gravity of what I am asking you to embark on at this stage and I don’t expect an immediate answer. But whenever you decide and whatever you decide just let me know.”
Having said that he walked away. I stood there looking at him walk away. By now I had no doubt that I wanted the exact same thing but I couldn’t fathom the courage to do it. I wanted to call him. Make him stop. Hold him in an embrace. Kiss him. But I just stood there petrified with the realisation of my desires and watched him melt away beyond the horizon. I stood there trying to contemplate my next move but the numbness had engulfed me now. I guess the rational side had won eventually because I did nothing I wanted to. I waited there for an hour to make up my mind but nothing good came out of it. Eventually I drove back home feeling morose.
I couldn’t shake of thy feeling for the next few days. It was evident to my family who enquired about my well-being. My husband went out of his way to check if he was responsible for my sour mood but I couldn’t tell him that the problem was with me and not him.
Next few weeks passed in dullness. I was missing my interactions in him. I thought if I procrastinate contacting him. This feeling will die a natural death. I was successful at it first and this thought was withering but then I saw him returning from work from balcony and my heart skipped a bit and my stomach lurched. I couldn’t help but notice his dire condition from his looks. The sight broke my heart and my resolve.
The feelings for him returned with a vengeance and I had to relinquish any thought about salvaging what was dear to me. Coincidentally my husband was visiting his parents the next day for the weekend along with kids and I wriggled out of this trip sighting health issues. I bid them good bye the next day and began plotting my move. More than a plan I needed courage to proceed.
The entire day was spent gathering that courage. I waited for night so that there wouldn’t be any prying eyes and unwanted gossip. I kept checking the corridor for any activity. When I was confident that everyone was secure in the confines of their homes. I decided to venture out. I had dressed in my most enticing black nighty. I covered myself in a robe just as a precaution and stepped out. I took the stairs to his floor shedding all my inhibitions, doubts and concerns behind. With each step I was leaving the world that I had so carefully built to embark on a carefree adventure with him. By the time I reached his house, I was neither a mother nor a wife. I was his partner.
I Escort Kayseri rang his bell but no one answered. I rang again. No response. I was getting nervous now. I was afraid someone might see me at this ungodly hour or worst he has done something to himself. I called his phone and started ringing his bell incessantly.
After a few seconds he did open it. I rushed in hurriedly thinking someone might see me. I closed the door and looked at him and looked dreamy yet stunned. He opened his mouth to say something but he was as stunned as I was. I kept my fingers on his lips so as to sustain my resolve and let the dream like feeling linger. My heart was pounding against my rib-cage and I was high on the rush that this setting had created.
I walked in the house towards the bedroom shedding my robe enroute just to tease him and stood in the bed room near the bed waiting for him. I could sense him following me and getting closer by the second. He turned me around and placed his lips on mine and without hesitation I responded like this was the culmination of my turmoil.
The passion engulfed us and we were hungrily sucking on each other’s lips. He picked me up and fell on the bed. We lost track of how long we were smooching. He perked up and got rid of his Tshirt and plunged to into my neckline lapping it up with the tip of his tongue. I closed my eyes to feel his mouth working on my tender sensitive zone. I could feel him pushing my knee length nighty and feel my already wet lacy panty. One by one all our clothes came off. He seemed in no mood to explore me inch by inch like my husband had done even after all these years of marriage. But I was not complaining. Maybe this is what I was wanting – the carnal satisfaction through wild love making.
We kept on exploring each other biting and scratching anywhere and everywhere possible. Twisting and turning on the bed. Each trying to get an upper hand in doing things their way and satisfying his/her thirst. Eventually, after countless hickies across our chests and scratches on our backs accentuated by our occasional moans and huffs, he managed to pin me down and spread my legs proclaiming his dominion in this relationship. But I was not going to let him off so easy. He had a price to pay for this.
He placed himself at the entrance and started teasing me. I saw the mischief in his eyes and egged him on by gyrating on him. He slowly pushed himself in and it felt heavenly as fuck. It wasn’t huge but the rush was too much for me and a gasp escaped my mouth and my face contorted. He gradually increased his pace and I matched his movements with mine. Slowly we were moving in unison – lost in the ecstasy of the pleasure that we were deriving from each other. Our eyes were locked in each other and I held him in my grip by wrapping my legs around his waist. I don’t know how but my hand found its way to his neck and I slowly started squeezing it, punishing him for assuming dominion in this relationship. I wanted let him know that I was equally in charge. It also was a fetish that I was living.
His face was flushed with laboured breathing. I could make out his discomfort from his slowed down motion. But somehow all of this felt cathartic. So far he had hit all the right spots with his words and his actions. I could sense the big O right around the corner. As it approached, I tightened my grip on him which in turn brought me closer. I finally came with a loud moan and every aspect of my life that I had left behind came flashing in my mind. As ripples of the orgasm hit me, I saw life pass by. Drops of tears started trickling from eyes as I convulsed crumpling everything I laid my hands on, arching my back to its limit.
I could sense him twitching as he emptied himself in me and it felt wonderful. Soon he crumpled next to me. I lay there as my breathing normalised and my tears dried up reeling in the aftermath of my volcanic orgasm that had been suppressed for so long. I got up dressed myself. Kept looking at him contemplating my next move. When I had it all figured out I left him a note to meet me at the coffee shop the next day to establish the terms of our adventure and walked out of the house closing the door behind me but opening another one elsewhere.
Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32