A Woman’s Bucket List

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A Woman’s Bucket List

Danica and her three best friends were camped out once again in Janet’s living room. Comfy clothes, margueritas, and a Bill Burr comedy special were their accoutrements of choice for the evening. It was their once-a-month “Girls Night Out,” an overnight ladies-only social gathering at Janet’s house that had long ago passed into sacred tradition. The women found it a necessary and therapeutic evening of decompression from life’s hassles, and they had no problem kicking out Janet’s husband Luther and the kids and completely letting go. They stayed up late, drank too much, talked even more, and passed out where they fell. Their time together always ended the next morning with brunch at their favorite local café.

On this particular Saturday night, Danica and her crew had something specific in mind for the evening’s activities. They had gathered to talk about Janet’s upcoming birthday. It was the big one, the big four-oh. Yuki’s fortieth birthday was two weeks after, and Danica and Terri would both hit forty later in the year. The four of them had therefore decided that they needed to do something special on Janet’s birthday, something momentous that would be for all of them. They wanted a memorable way to celebrate passing out of “fuckability” — as Janet called it — and into the realm of “older and wiser.”

Not that any of them agreed with the idea of a woman not being physically desirable beyond forty, but it was still an age milestone that they felt should be honored with something truly significant.

So, Terri suggested they go through their bucket lists and explore all the things they wanted to try before they passed into the Great Beyond. It was an effective method of brainstorming, Danica had to admit. Adding margueritas to the mix really expanded their minds — or soddened their brains, depending on how one looked at it. Either way, they were having a fantastically hilarious time tossing out ideas. The highlight of the night was the notion floated in an offhand manner by Janet, curled up in a blanket and staring into the fireplace.

Janet was a petite black woman with enormous dimples in her cheeks and a radiant smile that lit up a room. She had built a modest career as an interior decorator, married a fireman, and lived a relatively simple life with three little girls and her husband. She tended to be agreeable to a fault, following along whatever path in life her girlfriends or husband walked, even if it wasn’t her thing. Janet might grumble and gripe about it, but she always gave in after some prodding. At the moment, she was listening silently as Danica and Terri argued over Yuki’s proposal to take a week’s vacation to the Grand Canyon and Sedona.

Into a pause in the conversation, the other three were startled when Janet, her chin resting on her arm and staring into the fire, wistfully said, “I’ve never had sex with a guy with a big cock before.”

Her friends erupted into laughter.

“Okay,” Yuki giggled. “I don’t think I can top that!”

“That’s on your bucket list?” Terri asked, snorting with laughter.

Janet laughed along with them. “Did I say that out loud?” she asked, which sent them off into fresh gales of merriment.

“Where’d that come from?” Danica chuckled. “We just learned a little something about Luther, I think.”

“No, no,” Janet retorted. “It’s not like that.” She shrugged apologetically. “I was goofing around online a couple of days ago, looking up some porn. Luther’s been down south for a week with that big fire outside Mayville, and I was feeling… well, you know.” She smiled in reminiscence. “This one video I found had a guy with a really big, thick cock. He was working over this girl, and she really looked like she was into it, you know? Not, like, fake… or I don’t think she was faking. Maybe she’s a good actress, I don’t know. It just got me thinking, that’s all. It’s not really on my bucket list, it was just a random thought I had.”

“Most of the men in porn have big dicks,” Danica pointed out. “I think it’s a requirement or something.”

“I wonder if they send recruiters out to find these guys,” Yuki pondered with a grin. “Most men aren’t built like that.”

Danica threw her head back with laughter. “Recruiters?? Like sports agents? What do they do, cruise the college locker rooms inspecting all the danglies?”

“Have you only been with Luther all this time?” Terri asked Janet.

“I dated some guys before him,” Janet replied. “I’ve slept with maybe… oh, five other guys? Six? None of them had big dicks, though. So, well, watching that video made me wonder if I’ve been missing something.”

“Sex hasn’t been any good for you?” Danica peered at her, genuinely curious.

“Oh, no, don’t get that idea in your head,” Janet hastily responded, frowning at Danica. “I’ve had some good times, ladies! Luther can hit it juuuuust right when he’s in the zone, and there was this white guy a year after high school that — oh my bahis siteleri god — the boy had a golden tongue. None of ’em were ‘big’ men, though, if you know what I mean.” She grimaced. “Two of ’em were, um, kinda small. I felt bad for them. Luther ain’t small, but he ain’t big either, you know?”

“I’ve never had a big dick either, Janet,” Terri admitted, shrugging. Terri was an advertising executive who was on her third marriage. Blonde, pretty, and athletic, she was a restless, fiery soul who never seemed to find someone who could manage her mercurial mood swings and high maintenance tastes. Her friends had the feeling that her latest marriage was on the verge of ending, too. “I’ve been with a lot of guys, but I don’t think any of them could be called ‘big.'”

“What about you, Yuki?” Danica asked, amused by the topic of conversation. “Is Carl walking around hunched over all the time because he’s carrying a heavy load between his legs?”

Yuki was a lovely Asian-Danish mix, retaining the exotic looks of her Japanese mother, but boasting the tall, full-figured comeliness of her Scandinavian forebears. She was a stay-at-home mother who took her stay-at-home responsibilities quite seriously, raising her two boys with meticulous care and maintaining her house in pristine shape. She also carried around a large pair of breasts that Janet always called Yuki’s “men magnets.” If she wore a bikini and walked down a busy street, she’d cause an accident.

Yuki smiled sheepishly in response to Danica’s question. “I’ve never been with a man with a big penis before either,” she murmured, slightly embarrassed. She was rarely comfortable discussing intimate details about her love life.

Danica clapped her forehead in mock amazement. “I don’t believe I’m hearing this,” she laughed. “You two are both married to black guys,” she remarked, darting glances at Yuki and Janet. “I thought black guys were supposed to be-

“That’s always been bullshit,” Janet interrupted, scoffing. “Black guys are like all the rest — some are carrying, most aren’t.”

“Carl isn’t little, Danica,” Yuki interjected defensively.

“He’s not big either, right?” Danica asked.

“Well, no, not like Janet was describing.”

“How about you, Dani?” Terri inquired, squinting at her.

Danica leaned back into the couch with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Ha!” Terri cackled, clapping her hands in delight. “Tony’s got a stick between his legs, girls!”

Danica laughed. “More like a tree trunk,” she countered, grinning. “He’s like eight inches or something. I measured him back when we first started dating, so I don’t remember exactly what it was, but it’s something like that. And he’s really thick, too.”

“Wow,” Yuki shook her head.

“Yeah,” Danica replied. Danica was tanned and thickset; she had been battling weight issues for years. She was ‘pleasantly chunky,’ as Janet described her — a phrase that irritated Danica enormously, although she knew Janet meant well. Her hair was so blonde it looked bleached, and she kept it cut short in a layered bob. Danica was a 4th-grade teacher at an elementary school, and her husband Tony taught chemistry at the Community College. Danica looked the part, too, sporting glasses and frequently slipping into her ‘teacher-speak’ when trying to explain things to others. Danica and Terri were essentially the dominant pair in their little band, and friction between the women was usually settled by the blonde duo.

“What’s it like?” Janet asked, intrigued.

“Is it better when it is bigger?” Yuki added.

“It depends on the guy,” Danica shook her head. “I dated a boy in college who was almost as big as Tony, but it always really hurt when we had sex. He didn’t really know how to use it. On the other hand, there was another guy I dated right after college who was only half of Tony’s size, and sex with him was pretty amazing. If he hadn’t cheated on me, I might still be with him.”

“It’s not how deep you fish, it’s how you wriggle the worm, gentlemen,” Terri announced loudly, lifting her drink to the sky and laughing.

“Is Tony good?” Janet asked.

“Tony is fucking incredible,” Danica responded smugly. “Sorry for gloating, I know that’s not cool, but my man is a fucking immortal in bed.”

Terri sighed. “Bitch,” she grumbled.

“Trent not hitting it right?” Janet needled.

“Trent is not hitting it right,” Terri confirmed. “Two years into marriage, and he now has a potbelly, a bad drinking habit, and a little dick that I only get to see twice a week if I’m lucky.”

“His dick shrunk? Marriage to you can do that?”

“Har har. He always had a little dick, but at least he used it well and made me happy. Now he can’t seem to be bothered.”

“Carl is a good lover,” Yuki shrugged, blushing again. “I guess it’s okay that I’ve never been with a man with a big dick. Many men will never be with a woman with boobs like mine, so I guess it is only fair.” She grinned impishly kumar siteleri as the girls hooted and hollered at her.

“Well, let’s get back to planning this thing,” Terri suggested, leaning back on the couch. “How about we try-

“No, let’s stay with this for a minute,” Danica interrupted her, a wicked gleam in her eye. “Maybe… we can do something with this idea.”

“Like what?” Janet asked, perplexed. Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “Buy each other a monster dildo and have a masturbation session on my birthday?”

“Kinky,” Danica laughed. “But, no, a dildo isn’t really the same. I should know. It is so much better with the real thing. And that’s what I think we should do — get you three the real thing!”

Her friends stared at her as if she had lost her mind.

Yuki found her voice first. “Dani, we’re married.”

“So?”

“But that’s –

“I’m talking about a one-time deal,” Danica explained. “Something like, oh, I don’t know, going to Vegas and having a one-night stand with a male escort, something like that. It stays in Vegas, right? No one has to know.”

Janet’s expression was incredulous. “There is no way I’m banging some male hooker just so I can feel a big dick,” she insisted emphatically. “Disease city, girl! What’s wrong with you?”

“And we’re married,” Yuki repeated. “I don’t know… I think I’d feel guilty, even if Carl never found out.”

“I don’t give a shit if Trent does find out,” Terri offered. “I can’t think of a better way to celebrate forty than screwing a good-looking guy with a big dick. What do you have in mind, Danica?”

Danica beamed and slid forward to the edge of the sofa. “Okay. You remember Tony surprised me with that membership to the fitness club last year for Christmas, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he got himself a membership, too, and he’s made some friends out there, a couple of the guys he met playing basketball. He told me the two of them have really big dicks.”

“How would he know that?” Yuki asked.

“He saw them in the showers,” Danica shrugged. “He also told me his best friend Carlos — his old dorm roommate in college — has a big dick. He said they were living the dream when they stayed in the dorms because girls were always looking to find out if the rumors about Tony and Carlos were true,” she snorted.

“So, we just go up to these strange guys and ask them to whip it out?” Janet rolled her eyes. “How many of those margueritas have you had?”

“Only two,” Danica replied, holding up four fingers. “I’ve seen these guys — you won’t be disappointed, ladies! Carlos is a chubby guy, but he’s still cute. The two he met at the fitness club are really hot!”

“Yeah, but-

“Now,” Danica continued, interrupting Janet’s protest, “my idea is that me and Tony arrange this. We’ll convince the guys to come out to some really nice hotel to spend some… quality time with a few hot milfs I happen to know. We can schedule this on one of our Girls Nights so your husbands won’t be suspicious. Then we can have all night long to enjoy ourselves! I mean, c’mon, if it’s going to be a one-off, let’s make it count!”

Janet was staring at her like she was a squashed bug on her windshield. “You’re nuts, sleazebag,” she declared. “I can’t believe you teach 4th-graders!”

“Well, you have to admit, we’d be doing something really special for turning forty!”

“No, we’d be doing something really batshit crazy for turning forty,” Janet shot back.

“I’m down,” Terri announced, nodding to Danica. “Sign me up! In fact, I think I know just the hotel. It’s about two hours south of here, overlooking the Mississippi River. I stayed there a few years ago for a convention, and it’s far enough away that we shouldn’t accidentally run into anyone we know.”

“Well, it’s easy for you to go along with this insane idea, Terri,” Janet growled. “You don’t like your man all that much.”

“Hey, it was your idea,” Terri retorted.

“I was just thinking out loud!” Janet exclaimed.

“I’ll do it,” Yuki murmured quietly, startling all of them.

“Are you kidding??” Janet gasped. “You? Yuki, you’re supposed to be the good girl of the bunch!”

Yuki nodded. “That’s why I’m going to do it,” she replied.

“That went right by me,” Danica said, looking confused.

“I’ve always been the one to do the right thing — the reliable person, the one everyone counts on. All the people around me have skeletons in their closet from wild days in the past, and they always look like they enjoy those memories. I just tidy up the house and feed the kids while my husband goes out into the world.” She took a sizeable gulp of her marguerita. “I want a naughty memory of my own, and this sounds really, really naughty,” she giggled.

“Who are you, and what have you done with my Yuki?” Janet asked in amazement.

“Look, I got an idea,” Danica began.

“Another one??”

“Tony is having some of his friends over for a barbecue next Saturday bahis afternoon. All three of those guys will be there. It’s an all-male bullshit session lounging around the pool, basically. The kids are going over to a friend’s house, and I’m supposed to be gone for the day. I’m thinking we show up at the house, pretend I needed to grab something, and casually mingle with the guys for an hour or so. Then we take off. That’ll give all of you a chance to meet them, and then maybe Janet will like the idea better. I won’t talk to Tony about this until after all of us agree to go along.”

“So, when we meet them this Saturday, they won’t know we’re thinking of using their dicks as birthday presents to ourselves?” Terri asked, amused.

“Exactly.”

Danica’s friends looked at each, with expressions ranging from eagerness to indecision.

Finally, Janet threw up her hands. “Okay, I’ll meet them, and I’ll think about it,” she muttered. “This is really fucking crazy, though.”

“Which makes it the perfect way to bring in my forties,” Terri finished, raising her glass in a toast.

“Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m giving this some serious consideration,” Janet muttered reluctantly from the backseat as they drove away in Danica’s SUV.

Danica grinned into the rear-view mirror at her friend. Terri, seated next to Janet in the backseat, was teasing her mercilessly. Yuki was chuckling.

It had gone better than Danica had expected.

When the ladies showed up, Tony and his guests were in the backyard, lounging around, drinking beer, and tossing a football. T-shirts and shorts were the attire, and several of the guys were shirtless. The grill was fired up, but Tony hadn’t yet brought out the burgers and hot dogs. Most of the men were Tony’s colleagues from the college, with the exception of his two friends from the fitness club and his old friend Carlos.

Tony was surprised to see them, but he bought Danica’s story about forgetting her cell. Tony was an upbeat, pleasant-looking fellow who had a noticeable portliness around his midsection. His dirty-blonde hair always looked like it needed a good combing, and he was developing laughter wrinkles around his eyes. He was one of the more popular teachers at the college, mainly due to his irrepressible sense of humor and his willingness to work with students to repair a bad grade.

Terri, Yuki, and Janet had followed Danica into the backyard, and Tony was quick to introduce his wife and her friends to the guys. When Tony got to the men Danica had suggested for their naughty celebration, Danica gave an imperceptible nod to the ladies to let them know the guy was one of the special three.

The first one they met was Tony’s old college roommate, Carlos. The guy had the black hair common among Hispanic men, but it was flecked with bits of silver around his temples. He had a very handsome face, they noted, but he was clearly a man who enjoyed his food. He wasn’t ashamed of it, either. He stood in front of them — shirtless — and seemed remarkably unconcerned that his belly bulged out in front of him. He was jovial, pleasant, and remarkably perceptive. He spotted the Celtic necklace around Terri’s neck and immediately engaged her in a fascinating conversation about the origin of the symbol.

The other two guys were like a silent pair of trees swaying in the wind. They were both much taller than the other men there, standing well over six feet, and they didn’t mingle much with the academic fellows, reserving most of their conversation for Tony and Carlos. Both were shirtless, too, and they were in much better shape than the other guys at the barbecue. Marcus was the leaner of the two, a black man with a high fade and a short black beard. He had gorgeous eyes and a deep, sultry voice. Darren was white, and bulkier than his companion. Like his friend, he had a short, neatly cropped black beard, but his head was shaved, and his face was far more rugged than the finely chiseled features shaping Marcus’s face. He had an intricate dragon tattoo on his right arm and shoulder, and his muscular body was in danger of getting a little too much sun.

The ladies chatted with all the guys for nearly a half hour before they slipped away. On the way back to her SUV, Danica noted that all three of her friends were walking a little too fast and their faces were flushed and eager, a sure sign that the meeting went well.

“I don’t need to give it any more thought at all,” Terri called out from the backseat. “Fuck Janet. I’m in, Danica. Set this thing UP!” She added a rowdy hoot to the end of her sentence, and then started tickling Janet.

“Let me talk to Tony tonight,” Danica said, turning north on Broadway, heading for Yuki’s home.

“You think he’ll be okay with this?” Yuki asked.

“Are you kidding?” Danica laughed. “He’s been wanting to see your tits for years! He’ll go along with this just for that!”

“Wait, we’re going to be in the same room when this goes down?” Janet asked, startled, leaning forward in her seat. “Like a fucking orgy? I thought we would just take the guys to separate bedrooms or something.”

“Nope! Two king-size beds and a big couch! We’re going to make those beds shake, girls!”

“Why can’t we get separate rooms?”

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